So I just came back from Elevate night at Hills and it was amazing. I got home around 11:20pm and that was very late. I was feeling hungry as well. On top of that I'm getting very bad sore throat and sniffles. It's not good at all.
I've been emotionally eating a lot lately and I recognise it, but can't seems to stop. I hate how I eat so healthy around people but when I'm on my own, I tend to lose control. Maybe it's because a second presence around me help me to think twice about my choices. I'm on my 44th day since the first day starting out Bodyrock again. And I wish I could've got more results. But I guess there's only one person that's responsible and that's me. I think I could have made better food choices here and there. But most of the time, I think I did the best I could. I hate how my body is so used to itself and losing weight is so difficult. I know I'm getting stronger and my tummy is slimmer, but not as slim as I want. I feel stronger and I feel more toned but I still need to get rid of lots and lots of fat layers.
I hate how I just ate so much chips. And why? I didn't know why, and then I realised that maybe it was because I was feeling unwell physically. That's what usually triggers it.
Will this time be different.
Will I get the body that I want by my birthday. I have 9 weeks left. Will I make it.
I'm depressed thinking about how much I want to go to the beach and can't show my body. Hate how I hate my arms. Hate how it's hot and I'd love to wear shorts but I hate my legs.
If you were to ask me what I like about myself, it is a very difficult question to answer. I'd probably say, my face skin. Not my arms :( Don't like my broad shoulders or muscly calves, large hips, flat chest, shortness.....etc I don't like much about myself at all. It's a very bad thing to dwell on....
It really sucks.
