I don't know why but all of sudden tonight, as I was looking through the old photos, I started to reminisce all the memories I had in France and Italy. And oh how I miss Paris.
Here I am sitting here typing these words and I can begin to cry. I don't know what it is about Paris but I've always felt like my heart belongs there.... I've always felt like that's my home. Even though I don't speak French and is not intending to learn the language but there's something about it that just draws my heart towards it. I felt like one day I might marry a French guy one day.
I long to one day meet Jordan.
I feel so emotional today...
I feel like Paris is my love, and I'm missing 'him'. But Paris is not a person. I guess it's just a place where I was so free and I released myself and found myself in a whole new way.
I long to see Jesus face to face too, but until then, I will have to keep doing what I do.
I also felt like I haven't been reading his word as much as before. I need to get back to it.
I was really tired today and I slept through the time I was meant to be at church. I knew I should've just got up but it was hard since I was so sleepy and tired.
Why do I miss Paris so much.
I also want to loose weight. I have not been watching what I eat and I'm really feeling the consequences. I want to be fitter and feel better than what I feel now.
On that note, I know this is superficial but I really want a nose job and an eye job. I know I know I know this world is temporal but I truly believe that if I get even just my eyes done I will be so much more confident with myself. I hate how I have to wear make up to cover up. Make up is meant to enhance, but I use it to cover up myself. I hate that. I love me, but I would prefer to have different set of eyes. Jesus please understand. I know you are probably not too happy with this and I want to please you, but it's so hard living with myself looking like this.
Please let me do it Lord. Please give me the peace to do it.
Please let it be a gift to me Jesus!! :( Please
