Saturday...It's the weekend

Soooo...

Well the past few weeks hasn't been easy for me but by the grace of God He had blessed me tremendously. It's been a tough road with Vardering but I'm not asking it to be removed. I actually like it how they're very hard on me. I believe the more pressure and expectation they have of me, the better I will become. I love Jesus so much and I know that His plan is greater than mine. There's no one else who knows my future better than He can, not even myself. I trust in Him and have faith in His power. I believe that as long as I'm faithful and obedient, He will surely rescue. Last week on sunday when we were giving out Tithes and Offerings, I actually gave away everything I've got, all the cash (notes + coins) I had on me and all of the money I had in the bank. I just didn't care anymore. I wanted to show God that money really means nothing to me and He is all that I need. I didn't expect blessings to come straight away but I know down the road, it will be rewarded. Thursday night (2 nights ago) was really awesome. For some reason, even though my Vardering day wasn't that great but I thoroughly enjoyed doing people's hair. I also had a personal talk with Belle which was one of the new girl and I don't know why but it made me feel so much better. She felt sorry for my situation but I've realised that if they didn't see the potential in me, they wouldn't go hard on  me. It's similar to my little sister, if I hadn't seen that she is capable, I wouldn't constantly telling her to clean and be strict on her. I only was strict because I knew she could do it. It made so much sense. On the way home on the bus, I just didn't feel like going home and I was in a very peaceful and joyful mood. I decided to walk around the city and just enjoy God's presence along with His songs on my Ipod. I loved it. It was so wonderful. I loved seeing how beautiful the world is at night. The wonderful breeze.. ahhhhh that felt so good. It was cold so I went to buy a scarf. Sitting by Darling Harbour was .... indescribable. The water looked amazing, the tall buildings, lights, movements were all around me. Yet I felt so at peace despite the slight chaos. Everything looked so big yet so small? I mean, I'm apart of this whole world, but God is the maker of the whole entire spectrum of the universe which is infinite. He is so big. As I looked up, I could only see one star. It was very vivid and bright. It reminded me again of how small I am and how big God is. That star is even bigger than the sun, but it's so far away that we only see it as a little sparkly dot.

Lately I've been missing "that" person in my life. Missing that company. I'm awaiting for Him to come. I know it's not my timing but His. God is preparing us both right at this moment. Nonetheless, that makes me love God even more. As I yearn for that comfort and connection with a special someone, I look to God and thank him for creating me and allowing me to have a relationship with Him. If he was the maker of such feelings, and he LOVES me, how much greater is THAT love compare to humanly love? None can compare.

Oh another thing. Well yesterday I passed my "graduated bob" hair cut on first attempt. I was pretty happy because that proved to them that at least I didn't have to do a hair cut a billion time before passing.

I need to send in that $13 toll fee thing through the post. Hopefully I remember to do so.

I also have a $200 fine for not carrying a concession card with me, but honestly I never got it from TAFE. But oh well, I'll pay for it when I have the money. I have absolutely nothing right now. I'm not even sure where I will get the money for sharpening the scissors. Oh that just reminded me that I FORGOT MY SCISSORS AT PADDINGTON. :( I'm so lazzzyyyyy to go, unless I just buy a new scissors but I don't even have the money and I don't want to ask mum.

hrm.. what else. Yes, I need to call up AAMI and ask how that claim is progressing. So gay, TOO MANY STUPID THINGS TO DO!!!

And what I'm unhappiest about is my eating and exercise habit. I'll stop right there. It makes me cry :(



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September 15th 2009 - A YEAR AGO

I say this because most of our troubles lie not in how we conceive our circumstances but in how we conceive God. If we are confused in our conception of God our perception of our circumstances will be warped. If our circumstances dictate our understanding of God, He will be nothing more than a shifting shadow. And this is not our God. Rather, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17).

Does He care? The answer to this basic question is the foundation of all hope, all praise, and all thanksgiving. If He does not care then it seems utterly ridiculous for those who suffer to obey when Paul writes, “… give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1Th. 5:18).

What I love and what brings me peace during this time of loneliness and longing is the intensity with which Paul communicates this simple truth about our God. He does not code his message nor does he allow the myriad possible circumstances to mitigate his message. Whatever else may be going on, the one constant is a God who is able to calm the storm. It is not the waves but we who have trouble hearing when He whispers, “Peace! Be still” (Mk. 4:39)! The water is calm, but our hearts are still troubled.

What we need most to trust is the “kind intention of His will.”

What we need most to know is that He cares.

What we need most to know is that He gives freely!

What we need most to know is that He gives lavishly!

Then, having considered God we can consider our circumstances and give thanks not FOR our circumstances but IN our circumstances. We are not left as orphans (Jn. 14:18). The circumstances do not define God, do not define our lives, nor should they limit our praise. Give thanks always, because even the air we breathe has been lavished upon us.

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11:51 PM

" Time does not lessen truth, but it does weaken confidence and cloud reason. The truth is, where we see no reward—we see failure.  My expectations have led me here, and over time they have challenged me.  Since things are not going my way, I want time to stop or the waiting to end. However I have not come this far and waited this long only to stop short or give up. "

STORM OF LIFE

What about you?  Is there stormy weather in your life right now?  Where are you finding shelter from the storms? 

My friends and family have been a shelter for me this year, just like my family was last night as we all huddled together in bed.  They've encouraged and supported me.  And most importantly, they've pointed me to the strongest shelter from the storms, my Heavenly Father. 

As I've turned to Scripture this week, I'm amazed at the number of times it reminds us God is our shelter.  God knows that we will encounter hard times and His Word reminds us that the strongest and safest shelter is God Himself. 

As always we have a choice: get drenched in the rain or seek shelter.  You see, the storms of life can cause us to run toward God, but just as easily they can cause us to turn away.  A whole range of emotions can leave us standing in the rain to get drenched: bitterness, anger, confusion, helplessness, or hopelessness.  If you can relate to these emotions, you might feel badly for having these emotions, but don't let these feelings keep you from God. 

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Life is the first gift, love is the second. Absence sharpens love whilst presence strengthens it.

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The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for.

Patience with others is love, patience with self is hope, patience with God is faith.

Love knows no reasons
Love knows no lies
Love defies all reasons
Love has no eyes
But love is not blindLove sees but doesn't mind

Notes for today....Morning then arvo

9:42am
I love you so much god!! I'm so grateful for everything that's in my life!!! Thank you for reminding to count the blessings instead of the failures. I finally realize how much things I don't think of or even take for granted!! I'm so grateful for my mum and sisters, for the amazing opportunity to come to church, to be a part of god's kingdom and making a difference in this world. I'm glad to be called a child of God and in you I know that I am complete. I thank you for the awesome people from my connect group and the support they are able to provide for me in the name of God. I'm grateful for another new day knowing that there is still so much to learn and will benefit me greatly. I thank you for this vardering course and the blessings you are going to pour over me after completion. I thank you for showing me that there is "someone" out there who possesses the characteristics that I'd like I'm a guy. I'm so blessed and it is all because of you Jesus!!! Today will be a great day. Daniel will be happy. I will be positive. I will get my portfolio done soon. I will pass ALL of the haircuts :) oh I can't wait. I want to prove to them that I am capable!!! I know I am and God knows that I am otherwise he wouldn't have placed me in this blessing. I thank you Lord God. I love you!!!

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5:41pm
For some reasons I feel a little down right now. Firstly it's how I look and secondly it's how people perceive me. O mean the second is not that important because I know for a fact that I will achieve what I want through the power of God. I don't have to put my trust in anyone except for the one who made me and know exactly what my future looks like. I'm also glad that "that" feeling is going away slowly. I just don't think it's appropriate to feel what I felt before. Seriously I think I let my thoughts control my feelings too much. I shouldn't do that.  Right now I'm just sad and depressed because I really hate how I look right now. I just want to get home asap so no one can look at me. That's how paranoid I am right now. I can't help but feel really disappointed of myself for letting me go like this. I've tried to set out goals but has NEVER been able to fully pursue that till the end. And when i don't see the results I just give up and start eating the wrong food again. Applied knowledge is power not just merely knowledge itself. I'm just unhappy with myself for not applying what I know but ignore it. What's the point of obtaining more knowledge when I don't even do it. God I hate that about me. I could never stay on track. I just want to be different now. I need to. I hate my face soooooooo much. It's getting so round and fat. I feel like my face has swelled. I feel sluggish. I need to find motivation to start once again. I need to.  I have to. I have to look different. I want to feel different. I think I need to come home and really elaborate on the goals I have. I'm so lazy though. I ate too much bread today I think because my stomach doesn't feel too well and it feels bloated. I hate how I look. I hate it. I absolutely hateeeeee it :(

Blessed moments