Last night was John Legend's performance at State Theatre and I have to say it was amazing. The location was absolutely stunning and it felt as if I was taken to another place. It had that New York vibe to it which was really cool. It felt so grand.
It made me think a lot about how I'd like to spend my time as well. I prefer to spend money on experience rather than possessions. I want to buy what gives me a good memory not something that will give me temporary satisfactions and then rot to the ground.
I thank you for the experience Jesus. I can not have this if it wasn't for you. Thank you for your reward for what ever reason it is.
Jesus, I've been thinking.... like the way I look. I've been watching this TV Show on foxtel and it's called "I used to be fat". It follows the journey of kids and their summer trying to loose weight before the begin college. Every time I watch it inspires me to push myself to get into better shape. I think about how many times I've attempted to follow through with the plan I've set for myself and it never came out the way I want it. I always tend to be disrupted half way or something. And like this previous time I've tried, I got sick in the middle of it and I also fasted as well. And after the fast, I just started pigging out so much! Okay, this morning, I wanted to get started, and restart my way of eating. I had a few bananas, and guess what I had??? I had the left over of the packet chips ! I know I shouldn't be eating it but I already did. Sometimes I feel like 'whats' the point?'.
I wonder why self image is such a big issue for me?? I wonder why it's been bugging me for a really long time. I feel like if I don't get toned up and loose all the excess fat, I will never be totally satisfied with myself. I know that's not the way God wants me to feel. I mean at the end of the day, my body will not matter at all. All that matters is my heart and what I've done for others. I can spend time, work hard and achieve the body that I want but what's the point if I haven't done anything for God with my time. That's just selfish ambitions. I want to put God first. Jesus, you said that if I place you first then the rest shall be added. I want to put you first in everything but I need you to show me how. Does that mean my health will also be added? I believe so but it's so hard. I don't want to anchor my hope in something that doesn't last. I don't want to anchor my confidence to body image because appearance don't last. I don't want to anchor my security to money because money is nothing but a piece of paper; a physical, tangible thing that will not last if you just spend it on possessions & gaining things.
Jesus, I want to put you first in everything I do. I want to put my hope in you for the future man that I will have. Jesus you know everything. Everything that I'm thinking. Every thoughts in my head. You know my heart. You know there is this person that I admire (I feel like I'm very much attracted to character & personality). You know how I feel about this person for a very long time now. But I don't want to think that something will happen because it contradicts the things you spoke to me about. Not that I'm doubting the plan you have for me but I sometime think will there be other relationships before I reach the one you want me to spend eternity with. You said I will travel and meet someone... So that just means that every person here is out of the picture..... ....... I'm thinking about that person that I admire, and the more I know about him, the more I feel like I'm not good enough. (And I KNOW that's not how I should feel according to you) I'm just saying that his family is different, like it seems like they have it all together, and he is mature in age ect....
Anyways I don't want to think about it anymore. It's not going to happen. My instinct is always true. I felt that way with one guy that I was talking to, O- - - , and also D - - - - - , and also M - - - I knew it would not work out so I didn't even try....
I don't want to get back to work, I'm so not bothered. I wonder if I should get out of the house today. Maybe I should. I know I need to put some stuff on Ebay to sell. Hopefully it will sell. Hopefully. I pray that your blessing will be on what I'm doing Jesus. I just want to save extra money for the trip because I don't have much yet. I don't have much and I want to have money to buy my family presents and stuff. Oh how I wish I can stay there for like 3 months or something. I'm so excited. It's so soon. I thank you for this opportunity and I pray that you will take me to Paris because I REALLY WANT TO GO JESUS!! I REALLY WANT TO GO. I know I will have an amazing time. I'm also expecting to meet someone .... ;) maybe hahah.... No, actually I don't want to expect too much because what if that guy is saved for the next trip not this coming one. I really don't know but I trust your ways Lord.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Easter Sunday: He is Risen!
Lord,
I think about all these people that I look up to, or wanting to be like...and all I feel is that, as much as I think they have it all-together, they don't. I know they don't. I'm thinking of these 2 particular girls that I really admire. But both of them don't follow you. One has the look, I mean she is absolutely STUNNING and I sometime wished I could look like her. The other girl, she has to look too, but I admire her more for her talents: her academic skills, her passion for what she loves, how she is so strong-willed and is not afraid to be different. She is also very popular but that isn't something I'm looking for anyway. At times, I don't know if I think about what I 'don't' have too much. I should be thinking more of who I am LIVING FOR, and what pleases God, instead of hoping to get things to please others. I don't want to live to please other people and not you. I want to love them and do what you would want for me to do. I have been going through a rough patch with self-image, but when I think about such issue, I've come to realisation that this body of mine will perish, and that God will give me a new one once I depart this place to enter into my new home. I long for that day, the day of perfection & glory and eternal life. I think about how nothing in this life matters anymore because ultimately, it is all because of Him. Everything we do, it is all for Him. I want to give it all for my Father in heaven. The Holy Spirit spoke to me of start saving up my tips money for God. So from now on I will put all of my tips money in a money box, and I will open it next year or something when it is full (or maybe leading up to the Heart-for-the-House offering) I believe it will be a big blessing to others. I thought about how these tips money could possibly give me a large sum of money, and that I can spend it on shopping or travelling ect, however, my heart is for God, and I am living for Him, so I decide to give him thanks by doing this. If it wasn't for Him, I would not be able to receive any of these blessings. Besides, He can use 20 cent, 50 cent, $1 way more creative & useful than I could ever spend it. He can use it to build his eternal kingdom. He can use that to leave a lasting impact in people's lives. Whereas if I was to spend it, the things I purchase will rot away because they are 'things', they are pretty much 'worthless' expensive things.
This Easter season has been amazing....
So What does Easter mean to me?
Easter to me, is much more than a long weekend. Easter is much more than chocolate eggs & bunnies. It is more than just taking a break from work, hanging out with friends, and relaxing. Easter, I believe is one of two important thing in a year. Christmas marks the birth of Jesus, and Easter marks the resurrection of Christ himself. Easter is the gospel itself. It is the reason for our faith. It is the reason for our forgiveness. It is the perfect demonstration of God's love for humanity, for YOU and ME. For everyone on this earth, those who were here and those that will be here. Everytime I think of Jesus, I literally stop breathing because I can't fathom how much he loves us. I don't know how a perfect being can go through such tragedy because He cared so much for me. He loved us so much that He died so that we won't have to spend eternity in Hell, but be saved by grace to be in Heaven with Him. Jesus is so amazing, and he is the perfect sacrifice. I loved the service on Easter Friday and I loved today's service for Easter Sunday: the day he rises. The whole service was amazing, that's all I can say. I loved the worshipping and the talk. I loved how the whole idea of anchor was brought up. It made me think about what I put my trust and my hope towards, and that sometimes we can be passive and THINK that God is our anchor YET still worry about certain situations, trusting in ourselves to make things work, trusting in finance, in jobs, in people, in other's approvals ect. And it should not be like that because these change!! But God doesn't. He never changes, he is the same forever and he is eternal. I chose to put my trust in Him because it is HIM in me that is greater than anything on this earth. He made it, so how can I trust the things that he made, instead of trusting in the creator of those things. Surely the inventor would know better.
Jesus is really awesome.
I will wait Lord, for as long as you want me to. As hard as it may be, I'm living for you and I know this life is not all there is. This life is temporary but my life with you is eternal. That's forever, never ending, never stopping. A place of your love, where light shines always, where there is no glimpse of shadows because light shines from all directions. It is where the trees, the grass sings for you. Everything is alive and we worship you. We love you Jesus. I know it will be hard for me but I will wait for that man you're preparing for me. I will wait. I will wait. Because I know you will provide the best for me if I wait.
Thank you Jesus..
xx
I think about all these people that I look up to, or wanting to be like...and all I feel is that, as much as I think they have it all-together, they don't. I know they don't. I'm thinking of these 2 particular girls that I really admire. But both of them don't follow you. One has the look, I mean she is absolutely STUNNING and I sometime wished I could look like her. The other girl, she has to look too, but I admire her more for her talents: her academic skills, her passion for what she loves, how she is so strong-willed and is not afraid to be different. She is also very popular but that isn't something I'm looking for anyway. At times, I don't know if I think about what I 'don't' have too much. I should be thinking more of who I am LIVING FOR, and what pleases God, instead of hoping to get things to please others. I don't want to live to please other people and not you. I want to love them and do what you would want for me to do. I have been going through a rough patch with self-image, but when I think about such issue, I've come to realisation that this body of mine will perish, and that God will give me a new one once I depart this place to enter into my new home. I long for that day, the day of perfection & glory and eternal life. I think about how nothing in this life matters anymore because ultimately, it is all because of Him. Everything we do, it is all for Him. I want to give it all for my Father in heaven. The Holy Spirit spoke to me of start saving up my tips money for God. So from now on I will put all of my tips money in a money box, and I will open it next year or something when it is full (or maybe leading up to the Heart-for-the-House offering) I believe it will be a big blessing to others. I thought about how these tips money could possibly give me a large sum of money, and that I can spend it on shopping or travelling ect, however, my heart is for God, and I am living for Him, so I decide to give him thanks by doing this. If it wasn't for Him, I would not be able to receive any of these blessings. Besides, He can use 20 cent, 50 cent, $1 way more creative & useful than I could ever spend it. He can use it to build his eternal kingdom. He can use that to leave a lasting impact in people's lives. Whereas if I was to spend it, the things I purchase will rot away because they are 'things', they are pretty much 'worthless' expensive things.
This Easter season has been amazing....
So What does Easter mean to me?
Easter to me, is much more than a long weekend. Easter is much more than chocolate eggs & bunnies. It is more than just taking a break from work, hanging out with friends, and relaxing. Easter, I believe is one of two important thing in a year. Christmas marks the birth of Jesus, and Easter marks the resurrection of Christ himself. Easter is the gospel itself. It is the reason for our faith. It is the reason for our forgiveness. It is the perfect demonstration of God's love for humanity, for YOU and ME. For everyone on this earth, those who were here and those that will be here. Everytime I think of Jesus, I literally stop breathing because I can't fathom how much he loves us. I don't know how a perfect being can go through such tragedy because He cared so much for me. He loved us so much that He died so that we won't have to spend eternity in Hell, but be saved by grace to be in Heaven with Him. Jesus is so amazing, and he is the perfect sacrifice. I loved the service on Easter Friday and I loved today's service for Easter Sunday: the day he rises. The whole service was amazing, that's all I can say. I loved the worshipping and the talk. I loved how the whole idea of anchor was brought up. It made me think about what I put my trust and my hope towards, and that sometimes we can be passive and THINK that God is our anchor YET still worry about certain situations, trusting in ourselves to make things work, trusting in finance, in jobs, in people, in other's approvals ect. And it should not be like that because these change!! But God doesn't. He never changes, he is the same forever and he is eternal. I chose to put my trust in Him because it is HIM in me that is greater than anything on this earth. He made it, so how can I trust the things that he made, instead of trusting in the creator of those things. Surely the inventor would know better.
Jesus is really awesome.
I will wait Lord, for as long as you want me to. As hard as it may be, I'm living for you and I know this life is not all there is. This life is temporary but my life with you is eternal. That's forever, never ending, never stopping. A place of your love, where light shines always, where there is no glimpse of shadows because light shines from all directions. It is where the trees, the grass sings for you. Everything is alive and we worship you. We love you Jesus. I know it will be hard for me but I will wait for that man you're preparing for me. I will wait. I will wait. Because I know you will provide the best for me if I wait.
Thank you Jesus..
xx
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