Dear God..

Dear God,

I'm really sick right now and as you know, I've been like this for a while.  I've never been this sick and it scares me. It scares me that as more people pray for me, I seem to get worse. I cried to you so much yesterday and was questioning you a lot but I will trust in you even though it doesn't make sense. I know you didn't do this. I know the devil is attacking me from all sorts of areas. Please help mum to be healed. She seems to get better which I'm glad. Please also help my brother in law and my sister. Help them to know you. Thank you that Chi is maturing and she's growing up. I pray that you will have your perfect will over her and that she will live her life for you. God, I ask that you will give mum peace during this time of house hunting and house designing. We don't know what's best to do but please give us wisdom and lead us in your way. Give her peace Jesus. Thank you Father. Holy Spirit will you please reveal more of yourself to me? I really want to know you more. College has been really challenging. I'm struggling to live out my Christian lifestyle of telling others about Christ. I want to be better at it.

Thank you that you are providing for me and thank you for all the friends I have. Help my skin problem please. I don't even know what caused it and it makes me really sad that its happening. You are getting rid of it right?

I wonder when I will finally meet Jordan.... And to one day realise that all that God told me is true and I would be a witness of his faithfulness.

It's really hard to believe in you when trials come my way. Please help me to strengthen in my faith in you. I don't know how people live in such joyous ways despite physical limitations. Help me to do the same. Help me not to complain but to be thankful.

You know, it really hurts me that my sister's business is not going well. It really makes me sad. I don't even know what to ask for from you. Because there's no point of asking for prosperity if they done even know you. Are you trying to allow this to happen to make them come to you in desperation. I don't know how you work but please please please help them and look after them...

Help me with my faith. I know I totally don't deserve you yet you would still want me.

I can't do this on my own. I can't do anything on my own. Please make yourself real to me. Help me not to have those dreams anymore....

Hillsong College or Hair....

So it is 6 weeks until Hillsong Conference and I'm believing that God will provide me finacially.

It seems like everytime I earn money, it just all goes away and I can't seem to save anything. I'm quite sad about it...

Also, I know God wants me to go to Hillsong College, and I wouldn't mind going but I love doing hair and I want to also pursue that. What about when Steven Furtick says, God's will is whatever. Doesn't that mean I can love God and do whatever that's pleasing?

I've left my job to pursue my career and also to serve more, but I didn't think God would call me into college. What will happen after I do college anyway?

I will know more about his word, know more about myself... I don't really know what to expect.

And if I keep doing what I am doing... pursuing my hair career, what will happen? I will become more skillful, have more experience, influence many people...

I know I should not be selfish...and WHERE is Jesus in these 2 things? Well I think they're in both.

And also you said not to find a job because you have something prepared for me. Could this be what you've prepared? A job with Muse or College?

And I'm also believing for a perfect schedule job. I'm just going to send my resume in anyway and see what happens? And I should stop asking all those what if's questions.

Jesus I'm all confused and don't know what to do. I know you've called me into college but I'm not that excited or convinced about it....

And I still want to pursue hair... :(((

I know if I stop it's going to be so hard to pick it back up!

Mid life crisis

Dear God,

You know my every thought. You know my every need. I praise you for you have made me and you have watched over me all these years. I ask that you keep reminding me to be thankful and to have faith that you will work things out. You know how anxious I've been feeling lately. You know that there are things that I want to do and money is one of the challenges.

Lord, first of all thank you for helping start the make up course. I think it will be very beneficial. I thank you that you've helped me with the hair and make up today. I hope it turned out well. I really hope so. I'm so anxious of what Andrew would think if he zooms in and sees that the skin isn't that perfect. I know I could have done better but then again, what I did today was way beyond what I could normally have done anyway. I thank God for everything. I thank you for everything Jesus. Thank you so much.

Lord initially I wanted to just write down all my thoughts and my anxiety. But I will not do that, I will instead give you praises Jesus! I will not complain. I believe that you are for me and you want the best for me!

Thank you Jesus for everything. I know that you'll provide me with the money for Perth. You will surely increase our capacities to serve and lead. You will grow our team. You will give me the perfect job that fits my schedule perfectly. You will lead my family to you. You will bless me. You will make a way for me to go to Hillsong College. You will give peace to the conversation that I'll be having with my mum. You will send Jordan to me soon. You will give me contentment. You will give me joy. You will give me peace. You will bless our team and increase the momentum. You will never leave or forsake us. You are for us!!!!! And therefore nothing can be against us. Lord I know you will continue to anoint me with God given creativity. I thank you for everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May my life be yours forever. May all that I do be a mirror of Jesus. May your presence shine through me. May I reach the lost and heal the broken and bring them all to you. You are my father, and I am your child. Thank you so much Jesus.