Lost...

I feel so lost. I feel like there are so many things that I need to do, or 'want' to do but just don't have the time for them. I wish I had a coach. I wish I could have guidance in this area of my life because at the moment I feel like I'm trying to do too much all at once. I feel like I have the tools but I'm not using them the right way. I feel like if I had less to do and concentrate solely to just one thing then it's easier to achieve what I want especially when I want to have things done fast. I want to reach my goals fast. I'm ambitious and I want to do a lot whilst  I'm young. Sometimes I ask myself whether or not this is something God wants me to do. But if it wasn't something god wanted me to do why would he put that desire in my heart. And besides it's legitimate. Jesus I feel so lost and I wish that you would guide me. I feel extremely lost. I just want to concentrate to do one thing at a time. But at the moment I feel like I'm not only trying to better myself at retailing at work (hence studying the psychology of selling) but I'm also wanting to do photoshoots on my day off to build my portfolio and eventually get signed (and that takes much time & commitment). Also, I want to become the president of LR one day and my short term goal is to become an organizational leader in 6 months time & that takes tremendous amount of work & I would need to find people for my down lines. I would need to do make up parties. I would need to commit my time to meet up & coach ppl & be flexible with my time. I also want to finish off my interior designing assignments. I hate the fact that I would always bring it up to people saying that I am studying when in actual fact I'm not even doing anything because I don't have time. I wonder if I'm caught in the chaos of things & forgetting my godly mission & purpose. Am I instead meant to do things like volunteering at church? Am I meant to have a connect group & lead them? But what about my dream to become an entrepreneur and an elite international hair stylist??  :((( it saddens me that human (such as myself) can be so caught up doing things our own way & now I understand how hard it is to mover our agenda aside & let him do what he wants in my life. I know I will get so far. I know I will succeed at all these things I'm doing but why is it so hard Jesus. And with the Affiliate marketing thing. Am I wasting my money?? Is it worth going to the seminar? Have I been too hasty in trying chase after money? But the whole point is trying learn new things. God please send me a coach. Please rectify my life. I place my whole agenda aside and you know what. Do whatever you want Jesus. Take away whatever you wish because I want to follow you Lord. 

So much is happening.

I haven't updated my blog for a while now. It's only been less than a month and so many things have happened. It's incredible how many things can fit in such a short period of time. And it is also incredible how fast time has gone by.

I'm just wondering why I haven't been so uptight with my self image. It's amazing though because I don't feel as insecure as before anymore. However, it's summer and I know I want to look my best, especially when there are wedding and events to go to. I wish I could have that drive & motivation to eat healthy & exercise on a regular basis lol. I just don't care anymore. I'm just so carefree which is good.

So what has happened from the last post till this post?

• I WATCHED a lot of motivational videos as always
• I attended the national achievers congress starring Anthony Robbins, Robert Kiyosaki & Donald Trump. It was really amazing and I've learnt so muchhhhhhh!!!!
• I will be attending a seminar with Ewen Chia & also Harv Eker
• I met Enring who is a leader for LR, a German health & beauty company. She showed me what the company was all about and...
• I signed up for it today for a Make Up trolley.
• So officially from today, not only do I study interior design, I am a hairdresser, I am a beauty consultant as well as a make up artist. 
• I hope to go Melbourne this coming November for the launch.

But apart from that, why am I keep telling myself that I am STUDYING interior designing when I am not!!!!! I seriously have lost the momentum. I've lost it and I have literally ZILCH left! I don't have any desires left. The books and all those stuff are just lying around. But I honestly really hope to finish off the 3 assignments soon. If I really push it, I can get one done in a week or a week and a half. If I REALLY PUSH IT!

Well also I've been doing a lot of photoshoots and stuff. I'm thinking of leaving my work at the end of next year when my contract finishes so I can concentrate solidly on building a great portfolio and get signed with an agency.

I'm owing mum quite a bit of money because I'm doing some things that I want to do and I don't have the money for it.

I'm so glad that mum shares the same mentally as me, just a little bit. I like how she thinks like an investor and she is actually sitting back and just enjoy everything. I will need to really plan out my week & month and fit as much in as possible: health, fitness, mental learning, practical doing ect,

so yike so sleeeppy :(

Night x

I know that you are for me