God you've been so good to me.

Thank you Jesus for all that you've done for me. I thank you that it is not by works that I am saved, but by your love alone. Your LOVE alone saves. I thank you for your goodness. All that you are is all that I want to be. I've lost my phone and you gave me something better. You've blessed me with the people around me, to help me grow. You've appointed people into my life to help me lead. I thank you that I am useful for you. Thank you that I don't HAVE TO do great things for you but I GET to do great things on your behalf. I thank you Jesus, for allowing me to receive your great wisdom and knowledge. I thank you Jesus for sending me a client that said she was praying for a Christian hairdresser. I thank you that you've sent Leah to me. I strongly feel like she will be my mentor. Thank you for her generosity. Jesus I thank you for my family, my mum and my sisters. I pray God, that I will not DO things to show my mum that I lover her, but I want to show her that I love her through my expressions, my speech, the way I carry myself around her. God teach me how to honour people around me more. Teach me how to lead. Teach me about leadership. Teach me how I can be better used by you. Teach me how to organise the afterparty to make it grow and be better each week. Teach me to be a good follower, because good leaders are good followers. And you are a prime example, you were obedient towards your Heavenly father. Thank you Jesus. Thank you that you are so perfect in every way. Thank you that even though I was born a sinner, you still loved me enough to save me out of my wreckage. I thank you that even though as far back as my heritage, all of them were worshipping other gods and idols, but you've chosen me out EVERYONE to believe in your true words. You've saved me out of all those people and appointed me as the entrance for my family's salvation. I believe Jesus, that you will save me and my household. One day, they will be saved, you told me Jesus. God, I thank you that you are slowly revealing your plan for me. I'm slowly starting to understand why I am in hairdressing. And it is not because I will meet people in the hairdressing industry, but that I will meet people THROUGH doing hair. Jesus I really do believe that this year, you've crowned it with your goodness, like Pastor Brian says in psalms 65:9. Thank you Lord God for your great love and constant blessings even though sometimes it is not seen. Sometimes you work behind the scenes and we don't even know it. But I put all my trust and hope you in because I know you care for me and want the best for me. Thank you Lord God. Thank you Heavenly father. I want you to know that everything that I am doing right now is all for you. The money that I have, I will give to you. My hands, my feet, my body, my beauty, my talent, my gift, my family, everything I have, my goals, my ambitions, Jesus they are all for you. Lord, please here me. I make myself available so please use me Jesus. Please use me in whatever you will. You know how much I can go through, so please put me to whatever you want. I know the price I will have to pay for following you. I can see that it will not be easy and in fact very challenging, but the prize of eternal life with you is what I am reaching for. I am waiting for the day that I will see you.

I've been losing passion for photoshooting, it's pretty odd. I don't know if my passion is lost or it is because my passion for you is so strong, and everything else just doesn't matter anymore. Lord, I don't know if I've ever been this hungry for you to use me. I know I've fasted before, but I was still not as mature in my faith as I am now. Jesus I know you are smiling at me right now. I know you are happy with me for sacrificing myself for your Kingdom, and you promised me a very fruitful year. Lord I know sometimes, the self-centred me wants to be known, wants front seats, wants to be recognised. But hey, a leader is not someone who lead, but who is a good follower, a servant of Jesus Christ. And I don't need a title because no other title is better than being called the Sons and Daughters of the Most High God. I am privileged! Thank you Jesus. Please teach me okay Lord :) Please. I am hungry for you. I want to keep reading your words, watching your sermons.

For some reasons, I don't have feelings towards * anymore, but his name keeps popping in and I feel as though it's from God. But I'm not sure what's going to happen. I've actually never been this happy being single ever. Other complains about me being single but oh well, it doesn't bother me because I already have the greatest love of my life with me. I want to love you more and more each day. I know your love for me will never change, but my love for you will change. It's because the closer I am to you, the more love I feel for you. You don't get better or bigger, I just simply become better myself. As I am closer to you, I see you more clearly, and my identity changes to who you are. I will start doing what you do. I will speak what you speak. I will imitate all that you are, and I will find myself in you.

Jesus thank you for everything. Leah prophecied that this week is going to be an outstanding, amazing week and I really believe that. I hold on to that promise :)

Lord one last thing. I just want to thank you in advance for the people that you are bringing into 41 hamel crescent. It's been taking so long now but I know it will be rented out soon. Your mighty touch is on it.

Please help settle the case for 305 Burwood Rd, please have favour on the case and let mum have no more stress. Give her peace and assurance. Give her strength. Thank you Jesus.

Give me wisdom and understanding so that in everything I do, I will glorify you.

Another day

So last night I talked to 'you know who' after a long long time. He called me and I don't know if it's because he broke up with his girlfriend that he needs go have someone to keep him company or what. But yeah tonight I met up with Caroline and we had a deep talk a about relationship and so on and we come to a conclusion that I do have a little bit of feelings for him. But I cant let my emotions take over me because deep down inside I still want someone who is a follower of Christ and I know I deserve better. Not that he's not a good person but I know I could do better if I just wait. Caroline told me just to be open minded and go with the flow which I am doing now. But for me, no expectation, no disappointment! So yeah it's been 3 years since I've been with someone and that's a long time when you think about it. A lot of people keep asking me why Im so fussy and why I'm not dating but I just havent found the guy and besides my standards are high. I dont care what people say but it annoys me when it botheres them that I dont have anyone. Like seriously who cares?!
Anyways Jesus have a plan for my life and he wants the best for me.

I want a tattoo and I want to have long hair. I was really tempted to cut it but after thinking about it I don't want to anymore because I know I will regret doing it.

I also really want to pray for mum to have a man of God in her life, I really pray that Jesus will send a godly man into her life to become her soul mate and become my father. She deserves it so much and I really do believe she will one day know Jesus the way I know him. I really do see her living a life of peace and joy with the man that takes care of her and love her. Jesus I really hope you consider my prayer. I know you have great plans for us and I don't know what your plans are but Jesus I honestly really hope that you would send an amazing husband-figure male into her life that would show her who God really is and look after her for that rest of her life. I know it's a lot to ask but I know all things are possible with you!

Lord Jesus. Each any every day help me to live for you more and more. Let your glory shine through all that I do. Let love pour out through me. Please help me to do all that I can to bring your name glory. I feel so much peace when I read your words and your stories about healing the sick and loving people. I have such a peace within me. I love you God and ultimately I want to do it all for you. You know I want to also step up and start my own connect group but I dont really know how, please show me Jesus. Where do I begin and who do I invite. It just seems like all the college kids already have a place for them to go to and also where would i have it? I dont feel comfortable have it at home, I hope you understand and ask that you would provide for me a place where we could come together and study your words. I really want to do it ASAP and I hope you will give me the favor like you always have.

I ask for your favor also on several photoshoots that I will be having particularly the ones that I'm creating a collection for. I pray for organization skills, discernment, creativity, originality & amazing outcome that showcase your beauy for the whole world to see. I myself know that I could not do anything without you. I hope you know that I am nothing without you and I acknowledge that. Jesus please work through my hands and my mind and help me to think of easy ways to put all these hairstyles together.

Thank you Jesus for your goodness xx

Just want to be different

I mean your own sister said in her own words that she hates you ? Yet you care about her so much ? You love mum so much that you want your sister not to make mum upset. And she would in turn tell you that hate is a strong word & that she really really really hate me. My heart is numbed. I don't know how to feel. I feel like I'm one person at church and one person at home. And I still can't believe she deleted me off fb. But it doesn't matter. Sometimes I really wish I don't have a sibling. I wish for our relationships to be better but it's not going anywhere. I don't want to be here. I almost don't want to care anymore. I feel like all that I do and say to her is pointless. Sometimes I just want to smack her because she's so rude & disrespectful but hitting her is not right & I don't want to regret it. I really hope she stays at home & not go out. Not that I want her to suffer but I want her to be disciplined. I don't want her to be raised up rebellious & not obeying mum. That's the worst! 
I just want to get away from everything & all my family & be with family of God. Just want to give up my dreams & life here in Australia and go somewhere else. Dont know who I should talk to. Don't know who would understand. Oh well it's like all the other time. There's no one anyway ....