I mean your own sister said in her own words that she hates you ? Yet you care about her so much ? You love mum so much that you want your sister not to make mum upset. And she would in turn tell you that hate is a strong word & that she really really really hate me. My heart is numbed. I don't know how to feel. I feel like I'm one person at church and one person at home. And I still can't believe she deleted me off fb. But it doesn't matter. Sometimes I really wish I don't have a sibling. I wish for our relationships to be better but it's not going anywhere. I don't want to be here. I almost don't want to care anymore. I feel like all that I do and say to her is pointless. Sometimes I just want to smack her because she's so rude & disrespectful but hitting her is not right & I don't want to regret it. I really hope she stays at home & not go out. Not that I want her to suffer but I want her to be disciplined. I don't want her to be raised up rebellious & not obeying mum. That's the worst!
I just want to get away from everything & all my family & be with family of God. Just want to give up my dreams & life here in Australia and go somewhere else. Dont know who I should talk to. Don't know who would understand. Oh well it's like all the other time. There's no one anyway ....
