need to wake up early tomorrow

so im feeling really down .... all day ive been running errands, taking Chi to Centrelink and the driving her teld, getti-ng in trouble and had the Disabled card comfiscated. Buying things and making jelly to sell, writing letter to send off to RTA, printing things off at Officeworks, running arounf like wild. Then packing my kit for tomorrow, making hair pieces and now finally off to bed.

Right now i hear the spirit telling me - I will take care of it - 

Im sad and got really hurt when my older sister started yelling at me and calling me a pig. I got so hurt. Its something that she can never take back. I get so hurt when people call names, I cant take it. Even if its a joke.

Righ now, mums yelling on the phone over some loan. This lady hasnt paid back the loan and mum is pissed. I dont know  what i would do in that situation. Its really going to make my hair goes gray. I know thats a way of mum making a living, but i really dont like lying to make a living Oh Ord wouldyou please hrlp my mum and settle this once and for all. Lord pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Where are youuuuuu!!!!! why wont you change her and help her ????

you are a merciful God so please show your mercy to her and give her back what she lost!!!!!!!!!!

So whats going to happen now? what am i even doing. i keep repeating the same old thing over and over and over again. When will you bring people to our team. to my team, the team youve ordained? Same old thing... I want to obey you but im loosing so much hope.. so much...doing he bbq, i dont eve know how may people attend. i dont know the impact this is making apart from raising money for powerhouse. I wish we could raise our own money to do things for powerhouse afterparty.

oh, im so hopeless now. my security, my idenity. what will happen tonightwhen i go to bed? will he devil come and attack me? will you come and rescue me? will u help me with tomorrow? 

will i get a job soon? im loosing so much hope and i cant see you. 

what am i even doing. 

why wont you come in my dreams? 

you said ask and it will be given. why wont you? you know thats what i desire. 

i feel lost, and cant forget what both sisters have called me. 

I dont know anymore.....

i really dont know anymore.....

why wont you show yourself to me clearly, speak to me. 

i want to do make up but i cant even afford it. tried emaling agencies to ask to be an assistant and i dont even get replies...

what do i do then, i cant work in a hair salon because it will interfere wih serving  on saturday night....

i just wat to cry......