Don't know what to think.
Don't know what to do.
I just want to go to the House of God and be surrounded by beautiful individuals who will give me serenity & peace. My connect group. I miss them. I want to be surrounded by your people God. I need inspiration to start a new beginning. You know what I need God. You really do. Please please grant me a good start, the enjoyment of the process and an amazing finish result. Why do I feel restless? Is it because of the food I ate? Is it because of the rain? Is it because there are a million things that has changed which caused me to worry?
I don't want to think about problems of tomorrow. I don't want to think about anything right now. But at the same time, I can't help it but prepare for tomorrow's shoot and the models for my graduation. I'll just do it tomorrow. I'll look for the models tomorrow. Do I need sleep? But I don't want to sleep right now, although I know if I decide to sleep I will fall asleep in no time.
I just thought I'd do the
Less then 59 seconds
Friday: Dear.....
Think about someone very important to you and write a letter to that person. Imagine you only have one opportunity to tell that person how important they are to you and the impact they have had on your life.
Dear Mum,
I don't know if you are ever going to read this or even understand what I'm writing here. I think there will be a day when you will get to see this.
I just want to say how thankful I am to have you in my life. I love you so much and you are such a strong person. I'm glad your my mother because I've learnt so much from you. You've been through so much and believe me, good things did come out of it, and it's the fact that you've shaped me into the person that I am. I am able to bless others because of the things you've taught me through your broken relationship with Dad. I love your strength and how you can cope with all things no matter how great. I admire how you are able to stand up for yourself and not let others take advantage of you. I love how you are strong enough to show people that your emotional side may be weak but your mind and willingness is strong. I can not even comprehend how much you have achieved ever since the day you set foot into Australia. You always make sure we have enough to eat, to drink. You always try your best to provide us with what our friends had. I know your dream is to have Dad here, to own a business, a car and a nice house. You've got the first three and now you're working towards the final dream, which is an amazingly cosy, lovely big house with a beautiful backyard. Trust me mum, you will receive it in no time. I know I may be a little impatient with you sometimes and I tend to yell when I'm frustrated but it's because I feel so comfortable talking to you that I'm able to express my all my feelings. Unlike dad, I feel quite scared of him. I love him dearly too, but I feel like there's a wall between him and all of us. I know he loves me but he just doesn't really invest his time to get to know us better or ask us about our days. I don't like asking him for favours because it seems like I'm asking him to do me a big task. Even asking him to make me food is difficult for me. But you, you are so great mum. I know you're tired but you still care for us. If we're sick, you make sure we have medicine, adequate rest and is willing to do whatever it takes to reduce the work load off our shoulder. You would come to my room every night after you come up from work to just sit down and listen to any update I might have in my day. I love how I can tell you pretty much anything because I want you to trust me that's why I think it's best if I open up and not leave things hidden..
However there is something so great, so important that I wish I had the gut to tell you but I'm so afraid. I'm afraid of hurting you, I'm afraid of losing you, I'm afraid of things never going to be the same. I wish God will give me the will to open this conversation to you. I know you'll never approve of this, but it is not your approval that I'm seeking, it is your acceptance. Before I tell you this, I just want to let you know that you have raised me up really well and I'm old enough to make my own decisions now, especially when it comes to career path, love and personal belief. I've been keeping this from you for way too long, but Mum, ever since this had happened to me, I'm a totally different person. It is the fact that I'm a Christian and I've been going to Church. I'm a Christian for so long now. It's almost 6 years. I've been going to church really regularly as well and I love it. I love God and I believe in him. Because of my belief, I was able to conquer all the hurt, fear, and problems that have occurred in our family. There were times that I was so low, so down, I cried to sleep from hearing you and dad fight that my last resort was to go to my One and Only God for help. Each and every time I pray and talk to Him, He'd comfort me, heal me and reassure me that everything will be okay. He tells me that you will come to believe Him one day. That you will love him the same way I've always had. My wish mum, is for you to find that true love that I found. I know dad wasn't able to provide you that for the past few years, and I know for a fact that if you get to know Jesus, you will be in peace for the rest of your life. All you have to do is accept that He died for you on the cross so that all your sins shall be forgiven and He will bless you and give you a new life. You just need to have faith and believe that He will now be your provider & shelter. He will be the roof to cover you from the rain. He will heal your wounded heart. He will give you everything you need for an amazing life that He had planned for you long ago. Your life was not an accident. Your marriage not either. Everything that has happened was purposely planned so that you may find Him. He wants to show you that you can't do everything on your own, you need His help mum. And He WANTS to help you. He always have an open arm waiting for you to accept Him into your life. He is ready. The question is are you? I will be going to Heaven one day, where time is eternal and I want to see you there. But you will only be able to access Heaven if you are willing to give your life to God and let him take care of you. Mum, I'm sorry but no matter how good a person is, if they don't know God and is not willing to accept God as the Father, they are going to Hell. From this letter, I hope you understand how much I love you and how much this would mean to me for you to take Christ and place Him in the center of your life. If I had ONE wish in this lifetime, it'd be that you would finally come to meet the love of my life and fall as deeply in love with Him as I have, or even more. And that's Jesus.
Friday, June 4, 2010
I need some courage.
I'm not feeling too well at the moment. I mean, I am well but not? I think it's more my mental state of mind and how happy I am with my physical appearance rather than being "sick".
I don't know what to do. I don't know where to get the motivations from. Even if I'm motivated, I can't stay on track. I don't know why I am like this. I can start things but can't finish things. Why why whyyy??? I've realised that theres something that I love to do and benefit so much from it, but don't realise the good affect it has had because I actually enjoyed the activity so much. For example, reading! I hated to read before but now I love reading non-fiction books. Books that really inspires me and teach me something new. When I read I don't think of it as a chore so my grammar or literature to improve, instead I read because I just simply want to learn and find all the facts that I read very fascinating! I guess you can't be persistent if you don't enjoy what you do. You can start but you will lack motivation to finish it off. Likewise for exercise, I do it more for the benefits rather than for the enjoyment. I know I enjoy it but I want the benefit more. I think one thing I should start doing is to START doing something that I might like. I should start a new hobby. Something that I think I will enjoy doing. I hate how I don't even have that motivations or willingness to go to gym like a year ago. I was so fit, I went to gym everyday and loved every second of it. Although sometimes I get lazy, but as soon as I'm in the gym, I'm in it for good. I hardest part was GETTING to the gym, because it is so near, I can't make excuses. And as soon as I'm there, I give it my all. I couldn't even believe I even went when it was pouring rain. I was so committed and my body improved so much. I felt strong and tight. My skin glowed and I had tonnes of energy. I was so happy. Then after that, I don't know what happened. It's June now and I haven't exercised since March, and before March, I hadn't exercised since my sister's wedding in January. I really want to get back on track again but it's winter (and that is the BIGGEST excuse!). I really want to go for a run sometimes. I think I should do yoga. But then I'd need to join a gym so I can get my money worth by coming to the classes available, otherwise I'd have to pay like $15 for a single class else where. And that is how much I'd have to pay for my weekly gym membership anyway.
My physique has gone so bad that I don't even want to start over again. But the thing is, if I don't start, I will have to lose more fat down the road. My eating habit hasn't been too good either. I sometimes eat healthy, sometimes just give in to not-so-healthy food and other times I fast. It's like a big roller coaster and I don't think my body is liking it too much. Only if I fast while eat healthy in between then I think that should be good.
Oh actually I just have this thought popped in my mind. What I can do is to do a yoga class or even salsa. Something I will definitely find relaxing or enjoyable. Do this a few times a week. I should also fast one day a week and in between that I can just eat living food.
Sounds too easy to be true huh? But I feel like God is telling me that I'm making it too hard for myself. Things don't have to be complicated for it to work. Staying simple is the best way. And it is true that the food you eat is responsible for 80% of your image change, your health and result. Physical exercise is only 10% and your gene holds the other 10%. However, that 10% of physical exercise is so crucial. You can loose weight, loose some undesireable fat, but to really tone yourself, you'd need to MOVE and exercise!
I hate that word exercise lol. I hate it. Can't they change it to some other word that sounds less demanding. "EXERCISE" ergh! annoying lol. "Work-out" isn't too bad but still I'm so annoyed LOL. Oh God what is happening to Linh.
I just want to be feel how I felt before or even better. I want to feel energetic. I want to be able to feel my HARD stomach like before. I want to enjoy eating healthily. And always have to have vegetables with everything I eat. I miss those sweats that I loved. I miss that high I'd get after working out so damn hard. I just miss me looking after my body more.
I really don't know how to get there God.
Maybe you can help me out.
I don't know what to do. I don't know where to get the motivations from. Even if I'm motivated, I can't stay on track. I don't know why I am like this. I can start things but can't finish things. Why why whyyy??? I've realised that theres something that I love to do and benefit so much from it, but don't realise the good affect it has had because I actually enjoyed the activity so much. For example, reading! I hated to read before but now I love reading non-fiction books. Books that really inspires me and teach me something new. When I read I don't think of it as a chore so my grammar or literature to improve, instead I read because I just simply want to learn and find all the facts that I read very fascinating! I guess you can't be persistent if you don't enjoy what you do. You can start but you will lack motivation to finish it off. Likewise for exercise, I do it more for the benefits rather than for the enjoyment. I know I enjoy it but I want the benefit more. I think one thing I should start doing is to START doing something that I might like. I should start a new hobby. Something that I think I will enjoy doing. I hate how I don't even have that motivations or willingness to go to gym like a year ago. I was so fit, I went to gym everyday and loved every second of it. Although sometimes I get lazy, but as soon as I'm in the gym, I'm in it for good. I hardest part was GETTING to the gym, because it is so near, I can't make excuses. And as soon as I'm there, I give it my all. I couldn't even believe I even went when it was pouring rain. I was so committed and my body improved so much. I felt strong and tight. My skin glowed and I had tonnes of energy. I was so happy. Then after that, I don't know what happened. It's June now and I haven't exercised since March, and before March, I hadn't exercised since my sister's wedding in January. I really want to get back on track again but it's winter (and that is the BIGGEST excuse!). I really want to go for a run sometimes. I think I should do yoga. But then I'd need to join a gym so I can get my money worth by coming to the classes available, otherwise I'd have to pay like $15 for a single class else where. And that is how much I'd have to pay for my weekly gym membership anyway.
My physique has gone so bad that I don't even want to start over again. But the thing is, if I don't start, I will have to lose more fat down the road. My eating habit hasn't been too good either. I sometimes eat healthy, sometimes just give in to not-so-healthy food and other times I fast. It's like a big roller coaster and I don't think my body is liking it too much. Only if I fast while eat healthy in between then I think that should be good.
Oh actually I just have this thought popped in my mind. What I can do is to do a yoga class or even salsa. Something I will definitely find relaxing or enjoyable. Do this a few times a week. I should also fast one day a week and in between that I can just eat living food.
Sounds too easy to be true huh? But I feel like God is telling me that I'm making it too hard for myself. Things don't have to be complicated for it to work. Staying simple is the best way. And it is true that the food you eat is responsible for 80% of your image change, your health and result. Physical exercise is only 10% and your gene holds the other 10%. However, that 10% of physical exercise is so crucial. You can loose weight, loose some undesireable fat, but to really tone yourself, you'd need to MOVE and exercise!
I hate that word exercise lol. I hate it. Can't they change it to some other word that sounds less demanding. "EXERCISE" ergh! annoying lol. "Work-out" isn't too bad but still I'm so annoyed LOL. Oh God what is happening to Linh.
I just want to be feel how I felt before or even better. I want to feel energetic. I want to be able to feel my HARD stomach like before. I want to enjoy eating healthily. And always have to have vegetables with everything I eat. I miss those sweats that I loved. I miss that high I'd get after working out so damn hard. I just miss me looking after my body more.
I really don't know how to get there God.
Maybe you can help me out.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Future Fantastic
59 seconds or less
Thursday: Future Fantastic
Imagine my future turning out as well as it could be. Taking in account that I have worked hard and earned what I have achieved.
My life will be wonderful. With ups and downs but because I have God, He will work all things together for good and I know I will have such a bright future ahead of me. God will use me to bless others, and in turn, I will feel so amazingly fortunate to be apart of such great Kingdom, being used for God's purpose and to reach out to other people's lives.
I will work hard. My time will not be wasted on unnecessary things but would be spent on things that would contribute to my future career and calling.
If everything would go as well as I wanted it to, I'd see myself putting together 3 SPECTACULAR models for the graduation show this year. I wouldn't mind getting some awards. I see my models walking down in beautiful hand made outfits for the theme "Classic Remix". I see the crowd going wild as they take a glimpse of my great works. All glory goes to God for giving me such blessing.
I will be doing COUNTLESS photo shoots, while building up my portfolio. I see myself travelling worldwide, being hired by big runway shows to do the hair backstage. I will feel such honour to have those famous models walking down the catwalk with the hair done by "ME". My work will be published in VOGUE and BAZAAR. I will be asked to come on Ellen's show as well as Oprah.
I will make my family proud of the hard work I've been through, the determination and the willingness to success.
I'm going to work in a great salon. A salon with such pride in great work and customer service that it is always fully booked. I will have such a great time socialising with my clients and is more passionate about my job each and every day.
I will have a chance to travel, to see the world, to use my creativity and contribute to amazing works by talented photographers, models & make-up artists.
My future is so bright that I don't even know for sure how great things will be. What I can imagine happening now is only a piece of dust compare to what God has planned for my life. Everything that has happened to me is a blessing from God. I was born with nothing and now He has given me everything. I have nothing to complain about, but hope and faith that all that He wishes, shall become a reality, and it will be done.
My God is amazing and without Him I will not be the person I am today.
I know everything will work out perfectly fine even though things haven't been too smooth. God doesn't want me to settle for second best. Greater plans are out there for those who genuinely seek, but most of all, for those who put their trust in Him.
Thursday: Future Fantastic
Imagine my future turning out as well as it could be. Taking in account that I have worked hard and earned what I have achieved.
My life will be wonderful. With ups and downs but because I have God, He will work all things together for good and I know I will have such a bright future ahead of me. God will use me to bless others, and in turn, I will feel so amazingly fortunate to be apart of such great Kingdom, being used for God's purpose and to reach out to other people's lives.
I will work hard. My time will not be wasted on unnecessary things but would be spent on things that would contribute to my future career and calling.
If everything would go as well as I wanted it to, I'd see myself putting together 3 SPECTACULAR models for the graduation show this year. I wouldn't mind getting some awards. I see my models walking down in beautiful hand made outfits for the theme "Classic Remix". I see the crowd going wild as they take a glimpse of my great works. All glory goes to God for giving me such blessing.
I will be doing COUNTLESS photo shoots, while building up my portfolio. I see myself travelling worldwide, being hired by big runway shows to do the hair backstage. I will feel such honour to have those famous models walking down the catwalk with the hair done by "ME". My work will be published in VOGUE and BAZAAR. I will be asked to come on Ellen's show as well as Oprah.
I will make my family proud of the hard work I've been through, the determination and the willingness to success.
I'm going to work in a great salon. A salon with such pride in great work and customer service that it is always fully booked. I will have such a great time socialising with my clients and is more passionate about my job each and every day.
I will have a chance to travel, to see the world, to use my creativity and contribute to amazing works by talented photographers, models & make-up artists.
My future is so bright that I don't even know for sure how great things will be. What I can imagine happening now is only a piece of dust compare to what God has planned for my life. Everything that has happened to me is a blessing from God. I was born with nothing and now He has given me everything. I have nothing to complain about, but hope and faith that all that He wishes, shall become a reality, and it will be done.
My God is amazing and without Him I will not be the person I am today.
I know everything will work out perfectly fine even though things haven't been too smooth. God doesn't want me to settle for second best. Greater plans are out there for those who genuinely seek, but most of all, for those who put their trust in Him.
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