I haven't been getting a good sleep. I hope I will get a better sleep tonight as last night I woke up several times and even slept on the couch for a few hours before realising that it still didn't feel right and jumped back into my bed.
It hasn't been a great day today. I mean it's really up to my perception. I can choose to see it as a something great, good, horrible or bad. Normally today would be a very bad day, but I mean, because of God, I think today is a great lesson to learn from.
I had the feedback emailed back to me for my interior design assignment and eventhough it says that I did 'not bad' but I still feel like I did a bad job. I feel as though there were so many things I missed and didn't include and I felt like it wasn't fair for them telling me not to resubmit it.
Then I had a client (who I've cut for once) coming in on the second last appointment and to say the least, I stuffed up. I cut it too short. Her hair was curly and thick and she wanted a lot thinning out. I was unhappy that I didn't please her and made her happy. I was nervous, upset and myself and scared for the next client's reaction. The next client had to wait for soooooo long, he appointment was suppose to be at 7pm but I ended up doing her at 7:50pm because the previous girl would not want to come back for a redo, but she wanted it to be fixed straight away. I felt so much pressure. I was scared. I didn't know if she will ever come back :( Now when I think of TOni & GUy I think of those situations, they keep sticking on my mind. I know it's not good to be like that and I have to let myself come to a realisation that I CAN NOT please EVERYONE! I just have to learn to listen and be more cautious.
But what was great, was that this last client was EXTREEEMMEEELYY, I MEAN 'EXTREMELY' nice!!!!!! She was so understanding, and honestly I'd be pissed for waiting that long. She knew what was going on. And she totally understood. I had to close the salon, but having her last really made me feel better because she made me smile.
Then came the bus. My bus did not stop for me even though he driver saw me. God knows why. But that's okay.. I just got to get up after I fail. That's okay. God's with me. Everything is going to be okay.
I still haven't got a Model. I'm on the verge of panicking but I won't. I KNOWWWWW there must be someone out there!!! there must bee!!!! there must beeeee!!!! GOODDDDDDD HEEELLPPPPPP MEEE..
REVEALL HER TOOOOO MEEEEEEE
YOU KNOWWWW HOW MMUUCCHHHH I NEEEDDDD THISSS!!!!!!!
I hope to go gym tomorrow morning and get everything off my mind :( I'm just a little sad.
And to be honest, I have no one to talk to apart from you. S---- not picking up, M--- has problem of her own, C---- working I think, R---- I don't know. To be honest, I don't have that much friends. And when it seems like I need someone most, there's ... no one...
But that's okay. It's not about what makes ME feel good. It's about YOU refining my character and strength. I love you
