Yeah, I can say I've been happy, but I can also say I have not been very happy.
I was happy that FINALLY, FINALLY we've got a model and I'm starting to get active ect. But what can I say, when a total shock hit me: The model can not colour her hair. Now I'm going back to square 1 trying to find model. It's difficult because no one is willing to colour their hair red because they're agency represented. I've posted a casting call on Model Mayhem but it seems as though my conditions are too much because there has been many views, but no emails of interest. At times I do wonder if this is what God wants me to do. IF it is, why does it have to be so hard. I mean, God placed this competition in my heart for a reason right. It did not work out last year, so I want to attempt again this year, and now I have 18 days till the proposed shoot and have still not found a model. I honestly lost count of how many models we've searched for, but none were right. I want to keep my faith up because having NO model is NOT an option for me, as Lisa Bevere said. But I can't help it but be extremely sad.... Especially when it's my dad off today and I wanted to get out, but I didn't end up doing it because there was no one to go out with. I called a few people but they didn't pick up. I asked but they weren't available. I just want to get my mind off things and chill. I'm just stuck at home.....
Like last year, I have no idea what I was doing, what I needed to do, but God's spirit was with me and He blessed me with an amazing model & an amazing style which got me the scholarship & then the position at World Square T&G. If he could do it then, he could do it now. So I trust and believe in him that he will deliver. He has to, he promised.
:( Lord, come with me...
