Lord God, nothing matters anymore.
The more I think about eternity & the end of the world, the less important things seem to be. Like seriously, clothings, money, make up, my body, my materialistic dreams: they won't mean a thing. Everything seems so small now that I think of you. But God, not that those things are not important, they are important in the way that they teach me lessons you want me to go through. You want to refine my characters through those things & circumstances especially when this is such a visual world. I thank you for your faithfulness and your love. Your mercy and how you give me hope. I knew you would give. I knew you would provide exactly what I need Jesus.
So God I'm glad that now I think I have a model ready to come on board with this amazing team. I really do think we have an amazing team. I can't wait for everything to come together and I have a lot of hope for what's to come. I'd also like to fast for this journey as well but I'm just waiting for you to speak to me & tell me when. I'm not sure when I should fast so it would be great if you can just whisper (or shout) in my ears what needs to be done, that would be much appreciated.
Lord, it was pretty funny how yesterday Rai corrected me when I said "IF we make it as the finalist". He said "What's with the *if* we make it. It's WHEN we make it". That just makes me smile because that shows how dedicated he is and also how he sees potentials in our team :) I'm extremely happy. I know there will be challenges along the way but I need to stay close to you so I won't fall. I know you will always help me when I need help. You will stick by myself for always. The Holy Spirit will always guide me even when I don't feel it being there. You are a faithful God....
Jesus, there is also something I want to talk to you. I don't know exactly why you have placed me in the Hair industry but I do know it's for YOUR purpose. I don't know if I'm suppose to reach out to my colleagues about you or wait till a later date. Lord, I'm just so afraid and scared. I don't have the gut to talk to knowing how they really are and that they will reject your words. They're very upfront about their faith and laughed, or another one would say "I'm an atheist". I don't know what to do Jesus because I just don't want to sow seed on the rocks. But how am I suppose to know what you are able to do with such people. Who am I to judge what will happen or not happen. If I'm not doing something I'm meant to do please give me wisdom and the courage to step up and be bold, give me the confidence and the joy of the spirit. Please let your spirit flows through me always so that when people sees me, they will see you.
I'd like to go the gym today so I hope I will. If not, I'd like to do Zuzana's workout. I really want to get back on track. Sveta gave me a reality check so I need to really step up. I'd like to also go and print out the images & mood board for the shoot as well. On top of that I need to do my assignment and I don't even know what to do!!!! I hate writing down list of things I need to get done.
OMG I have art-team tonight :(((((((( okay that's my nighttttt goneeeeeeeeeeeee.It starts at 7 so I don't have much time....
I want to get into God's words as well.. so LORD HELP ME TO DO ALL THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. HELP ME TO PRIORITISE BECAUSE THAT'S MY PROBLEM!!!!!!
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP MMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TO HAVE PEACE AND HAVE CONSISTENCYYYYY!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!
