God, things are definitely getting harder and harder. But I know one thing for sure. It's going to be over soon. It's going to be over real soon. Won't be much longer.
Well my family is quite a mess at the moment. And as the days go by, I am more firmly believe that my dad is possessed by the spirit of destruction. He always speak of "steal, kill and destroy" and that's exactly what the devil is here to do. Chi was crying today and I felt really bad for her. I just realised how precious moments are. How wonderful time is if you are able to cherish it. I love her so much. And that's the reason why I've taken her out to eat tonight so we can spend quality time together. I'm glad we did and I'm also glad that she liked the food at Mamak.
Well apparently, dad asked Chi if she wanted to go with him after the divorce and she said she will think about it. But I know for a fact that she won't. I don't think she will have a good future with him anyway. I mean, seriously, he only wants her for the money. I could not even believe it when he said he will not allow any of us (me and my big sister) have any of the money. It will only be divided into 3's and if Chi goes with him, he will get her part, if she goes with mum, mum will get it. But I don't get it. Why did he even agreed to dividing it into 5's before. He said "no worries" and now, it's like him turning 360 degree changing his mind. Another thing is that, he told us that he would NOT regret leaving us (his children) once he's gone, then WHY is he wanting Chi so bad? If he did not care, why would he want us, if it wasn't for a different reason, which is money.
I could not even believe how much he threatens mum. He said he will give her a new trouble everyday. That he will always give her a hard time and that he will "demolish" the house meaning that he will do something to take that Belmore property away from us. Man, honestly I'm not even worried. It's not even his place anyway. It's the house that mum bought even before he came to Australia. Besides, even if he DID prove that it was his, then there are hundreds of thousands of dollars that is still in debt, so go on dad, pay for that if you have the money! Besides, if you are going to be that meaningless, pay mum back the money she spent to get you to Australia. Easily costs any where near 100 K. Seriously, he is pouring fuel onto his own fire.
But you know what, I trust in God and I know for a fact that this is going to be over soon. I just can't begin to comprehend what has happened to him or where/who/from what he was influenced from to make him turn to the person he is now. It's really scaring thinking of all the things he has said and done up to this point. I have my trust in the Lord. I know He will carry me through. And the 5th revelation I got yesterday was mind blowing as well. Opening up a page from "Fit for my King" and it read
" Open your bible right now and ask the Lord to speak to your spirit through His Word. You will find a Word just for you from the Father in Heaven"So before I open my bible I prayed and God told me to read Isaiah 60. I flipped out my bible and it WAS Isaiah (47/48) so I went to chapter 60 and started reading. To my amazement, everything that was written in that chapter spoke about ME! God's promises to me and everything that is to come. Things about my situation and how I should "Arise and shine", how I will bring up a nation, leave lasting impact, about my future home and its neighbourhood, about the generations to come, and so on. It was so amazing. Unbelievable! It spoke right to me here and there, everything was related to my situation and it brought me so my affirmation and strength as well as faith and trust. I love God so much.
Previously, I thought that I should not take that Interior Designing job, but now I'm not too sure anymore. I think I should take it. I thought that it had nothing to do with my future therefore I shouldn't take it plus my family's situation is in the way. But now thinking back to all that, I think my perspective was limited. Just because it doesn't have anything to do with hair, doesn't mean that it won't benefit me. I believe it will teach me so much about organisational skill, management skill, merchandising skill, communication skill, and much much much more. I truly believe that this is something great to take advantage of. God also spoke to me about how every person that I come in contact with/ work with will be blessed through the power of God that's poured upon me. I'm so happy. I'm so blessed. I feel so privileged. I'm not sure about the timing and how I would get there and when I would start work but for now, I really do feel like God is telling me "take a shot", "trust me".
So I think it might be something worth doing. Besides, her words were very encouraging.
"This also shows to me that you are the kind of person I am looking for in terms of character and this speaks for you. I wanted you tell you that I feel that we connected during our talk and l am very positive about taking you on board."It made me feel good and it also speaks to me of the person that she is. She has the same value as I do, most definitely.
Anyways, I'm going for my green P's tomorrow and I hope God will take care of me. I heard that it is easy and I'm praying that I won't fail LOL. But I know Jesus has his hand upon me which me there is only one outcome: Success. And if that is a promise, it will not turn out otherwise. It WILL only be success!
I trust in Jesus. I hope that I will have everything I need ready so the process can go as smooth as possible. After that I'm not sure what I'm going to do, except that I need to meet up with Joe for lunch. Oh and at night I'd also need to meet up with Jovie to fix her hair. I'm not too sure what I will do during those time, but I think I should take some rest and clean my room at least, then get back into reading God's words or meet up with Caroline. Yeah sounds like a better idea. I don't feel like cutting hair though, I just want to spend quality time together and relax, chat and pray. I pray for God's guidance and direction for tomorrow, for everything that I do and for all the decisions that I will make. I also pray that God's will shall be carried out and that my mouth will only speak of His wonder & love. That I will speak of things that build others up not deflate them down.
In all of the amazing power. I love you Jesus. I love you God!
xx
