To do list

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

SECOND DAY back into fitness

It was yesterday that everything changes. It finally got to me that I had to do something about myself. I got really bad pain from work. My back, shoulders and feet and everything are hurting me so much and I felt like it was time for me to go back to the way I used to be. I lacked a lot of motivation but everytime I got back to Bodyrock.tv I'd always find motivations :)) I'm eating healthier now. I pack my lunch now and I pack lots and lots of fruits. I did a BR work out yesterday's morning outdoor waking up at6 :) I was proud of myself for doing that. I couldn't believe I was looking forward to doing it even though I was dead tired and sleepy. I was meant to do it for 10 sets but I only did 3 sets meaning 300 reps. But it was good, at least I started. I just need to start. I wanted to do something to day but didn't have the time to do it, and before when I wanted to do it, my sister just ruined my mood.  I guess I'll save it for tomorrow. But yes, I really feel like this is the new beginning for me even though it's not the new year yet but it's good to get things under way. xx
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Monday, December 12, 2011

Attitude makes all the difference



I like my job because....

1. They pay me for working there
2. I get to work even though there are millions of people out there who are unemployed
3. I have great working colleagues
4. I have the opportunities to make people happy and confidence
5. I infiltrate God's love from me to people
6. I get to practice my skills while at work; day by day
7. It's a very prestige company
8. The company has very good reputation
9. My clients are always so lovely, we're becoming really good friends
10. You meet people who are different and I connect with other designers ect...
11. It's right in the city and doesn't take too long to get there
12. I get my hair done for free all the time :)
13. I get to dress up every single day
....

to be continued....
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BRIAN TRACY: IF YOU COULD ACHIEVE ONE GOAL IN 24 HOURS



Make physical fitness as part of my everyday lifestyle. More confidence, more energy, no more pain.
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Sunday, December 11, 2011

Setting Goal

5 things I've accomplished and I'm proud of:

1, Going to Europe alone & travelled
2, Designing the restaurants
3, Come out of T&G being highly recognised
4, Read a lot, a lot, a lot
5, Investing in education: seminars ect

What do YOU want in the next 10 YEARS:


Have become a millionaire 5
Be happily married 5
Have done mission work 3
Be an elite international Hairstylist 3
Designed mum's dream house 3
Did sky diving 1
Be a significant part of the church 1
Go to Austria, Dubai, Hong Kong, France, South America ... 3
Go on roadtrip 1
Win Australian Hairdresser of the Year 3
Take up yoga/pilate on a regular basis 1
Allow exercise as part of my lifestyle 1
Be confident about myself 1
Become an entrepreneur 3
Learn to invest 1
Have the body I've always wanted: tight abs, firm butt & thighs, toned arms. Glow & feel free, less lethargic.1
Earn 6 figures a year 10
Have more and more patience 3
Work with Sarah Laidlaw, Andrew O'toole 3
Be signed with DLM 1
Help motivate young woman in life situation 1
Continue to use the 6 money jars 1
Be happy daily, be grateful. Have gratitude. 1
Be financially free. Be debt-free, Owe no one anything. 3
Teach hair. 5
Have a life coach. 3
Be pain-free. Get strong. 1
Run in a marathon. 3
Have a residence with a beautiful water view. 10
Have built AN AMAZING garden for mum. 3
Be an influencer, impacter for God's kingdom. 5
Talk with grace, modesty. 3
Travel alone again soon. 3
Have a passive income to support my lifestyle 3
Know how to cook really well 5
Have my own organisation 5

THIRTEEN 1's
FIFTEEN 3's
SIX 5's
TWO 10's
***** to BE CONTINUED....

Important to celebrate

Top 4 ONE YEAR goal.

1. Be happy daily, be grateful, have gratitude.
2. Allow exercise as part of my lifestyle.
3. Have the body I've always wanted.
4. Be signed with DLM

Make a list:
What's got you turned on? Staying up late, waking up early....
What's got you turned off? How come I don't have energy...

Why are these 4 goals important for me?
I've always been so self-conscious about myself. I've always allowed the way I look to stop me from enjoying life to its maximum. I want to be confident about myself. I want to love the way I look and I know it's not going to come by me wishing and praying. It comes with action and persistence. I need to be confident about myself. I need to not let people's approval affect me. I'm sick and tired of wearing certain things to cover me up. I'm sick of always getting frustrated about showing the bits that I'm too worried of showing. I'm conscious about many things. I want to be happy, confident, happy, love what I do. I also want to be signed to DLM because I know I will have the opportunities to work with amazingly creative people. I want to work with international elite team. I like travelling, I like doing different things. I don't like doing the same old thing all the time. So these 4 goals are really important to me. It will allow me to live my life differently and just be the person I should be. The person God's want me to be.
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I just want to change...



Time is important.

Success: A snowball effect.
How do you know if you are successful? Earn the best that you can.
Key: do the best that you can!

Essence of life: growth
Be the best that you can be.
Human lives are the only one that do less than the best that they can
All life form work to become the best that they can besides human.

Strive to the best that you can.

How tall does a tree grow? As tall as they can!
Growing of your mind: that's what we control.

Why wouldn't human being don't strive to the best of their ability? The power of choice

Earn all you can
Make as many friends as you can
See as much as you can
Read as much as you can

Go for it

Build good habits.
Fuel your ambitions, achievements.

How do you isolate what is working and what isn't?
Writing it down, keep a journal. Keep a written record.
See as
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Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A sad 21st..

Today was meant to be a good day.
I'm so attacked! I'm so overly attacked!
Devil!!!!! What are you trying to do to me???
I hate you! I hate you! I rebuke you. I welcome Jesus and I rebuke the spirit of negativity.

Why???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Why do I have to feel the way I do today, on this day??

Why am I finding my happiness in others? Isn't that a good thing that I want ppl to be happy???
But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Why is it that I place so much of my joy in other people's hands. Why can't I be firm with myself and love me for me!!! and not of people's approval of me????

I'm sad. I'm so sad. I'm really sad. Why???? I know I shouldn't say why but I still do!!!!

No one understands me. I can't talk to anyone. There are certain someone but they have a partner and I don't feel right robbing their time.

I know I'm here now for a reason. Perhaps God is preparing me for a bigger future.

The devil is fighting over me so bad!!! Like I'm in one body but pulled to either sides at the same time. I'm crying because of the hurt and at the same time speaking God's words to myself for affirmation.

Why does it have to happen??

Why is he attacking me so much???

Why is my identity shaken.


Out of everyone I know, who greeted me happy birthday? 0.2% literally or less.

There was really nothing special about today besides the fact that I'm older.

Nothing special, especially when mum didn't fully enjoy herself. How she complained about how bad certain service, food is. It doesn't make me happy at all. She should have hide it inside.

People are starting to text me now to greet me happy birthday. It's almost 11pm. I'd say it's pretty late. They don't mean anything to me anymore.

Thinking about those that I care about, gave things to, thinking that they're my sister in Christ. Not even a word.

It's like the world don't even know I exist besides a few. Maybe only a few actually counts.

But I'm depressed. And in all honesty, despite the laughter and stuff, my day was crap, more so my night was crap.

Never felt so low in any of my birthday ever before. and it has to happen on my 21st.

Why is it that all these attacks come after such a great blessing.

God's been blessing me so much and here I am all depressed once again and I haven't been like this for a while. I've been trying so hard to get rid of these feelings and they're coming back to me...

God, I don't know what else to say but Help Me!!! :(((

Help.....
Please :((
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Realities relationships #8 Pastor Paula White -12/3/11



Fresh anointing is coming. God is putting people in my life to bring me into another level.
Promotion is coming.

God's gifts and callings are irrevocable.
The only person who can forfeit God's calling for you is YOU.
Miscarriage & Abortion are not the same thing.
Miscarriage happens because we don't discern moments. It can happens unconsciously.
Abortion comes by consciously terminate what you are carrying.

Big things come from tight places.
Great blessings always come from a very restricted and tight situation.
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Thursday, November 24, 2011

Joseph Prince - Speak God's Language of Faith - 31 October 2010




Devil lives in the realm of feeling.
God lives in the realm of faith.

Your eyes will play tricks on you.
You can not go by your feelings.
Even if you don't feel safe, you are safe! Act like it
Be happy be joyful.
Faith = believe you've receive and you'll get.
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Monday, November 21, 2011

Spirit of God.

I have to keep rebuking the evil spirit within me. My weakness is getting hurt by my little sister and usually it throws me into frustration. But this time around, I will not let anyone or anything rob me out of my joy. I had to continue praying and affirm myself of God's goodness and spirit upon my life and that the spirit of sadness, anger and revenge is not welcome in me. It's hard. It's really hard. And as I pray tears stream down my face. God is so good to me and I can not thank him enough for delivering me day by day.

God is not changing me over night, instead he is changing me overtime. I wish it was easier but it's not. I don't know why but I know that everything has its part in His kingdom and he wants to work it for good. I wish I was healed instantly. But I'm not. Today I felt the most pain I've ever felt on my back. I don't know if it's because I've been in heels for so long, but not only my lower back hurts, the whole spine hurt and also my arm hurt as well. Right hand side, just near the underarm, beside my shoulder blade. I don't know where it's coming from and I'm so desperate for a massage. I just want healing. I believe God will heal me soon. Sickness is not what God wants for my life. Health and Wealth is what He wants for my life.
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9:33pm 20/11/11

God is amazing. 90 days from now will be an amazing day to look back to. Benny Hinn was great yesterday. I'm glad everything came in time. Brendon's words over my life was transforming. Followed by the 3 days seminar and Benny's crusade event. They were amazing. I'm excited to see all the changes that will happen in my life. I'm glad that by the end of the year I will actually be glad that I've done something significant with my life & that my relationship with God is strengthening more and more. I can not believe how close I am to God. I grow every single time I fall. And when I come back, my faith seems like it shoots through the roof. I know his favor is on my life. His blessings are on my life. I see a bright future where God uses me to bring His kingdom forward. I see him bringing people into my life & promoting my career. I see myself becoming a missionary. I see myself speaking to large crowd of women & young girls. I see myself as a fantastic leader. I see myself glowing & walking with confidence. I see people following me & recognize me as a great leader. 
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Friday, November 18, 2011

Thank you.

Thank you lord Jesus for deliveringr off the demonic spirit. I thank you that I have finally found that peace I've been looking for. I cannot do anything without you. I honestly love you & just want to live for you. Thank you for that angel that came & rescued me. Thank you Jesus.
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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Joseph Prince - Abundance And Strength In The Presence Of Jesus - 01 May 2011

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Love

I love Jesus so much.

He is speaking to me about Grace and I thank him for finally allow me to understand that I don't have to try or strive to be better, because I can never do what He can. I should not do what makes sense, because what I know works best, will NOT be what God thinks is best. I thank Him that he has been speaking to me through random people, through Susan whom I met up with today, and through pastor Brian. Thank you Jesus, and thank you for allowing Chi to be a little kinder and nicer to me.

I know now that all I really have to do is draw near to you and let go...and just trust. Just trust and put myself in your presence. That's all I want. I haven't felt this kind of peace in so long. Thank you Jesus.

It's only for a while...
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Sunday, October 30, 2011

Change me Lord.

Dear Lord. I know you love and I know you care for me. I also know that maybe for the past 2 months or so I have been through some horrible times. I now know for a fact that you were there all along. I just sometime didn't admit it. Lord, tonight was an amazing night, and thank you for touching me so I can cry out to you. I really needed to let everything out of my chest. I just wanted to cry and cry and cry.

Jesus, all I want...is to live for you now. I say that before but I didn't live like that. I admit that I was still finding my own way to success. I was doing what 'I' thought was right, but with you Jesus, anything is possible and what makes you the happiest is knowing that we love you and that we spend time with you. I lacked that and I really suffer from loosing energy and getting burnt out. I need you so much Jesus. Forever and ever I need you. I thank you that you continue to love me even though I am not worth loving and that I've sinned so so so much. I don't know how you can love us like this. Humanity is really a bunch of sinful people, ignorant and selfish. We live in our earthly body and is tempted daily. We're in a fight with this flesh and our spirit. But you love us enough to always welcome us back and I know you forever are listening out to our cries and if we need you, you'd be there! You'll be there without fail. Thank you for touching me last night. Thank you for giving me the peace that I needed to bad. Thank you for giving me a lift to the Album recording, and thank you for allowing the hair extension to be the perfect match for the model's hair. I know it's a rush today and tonight Walter said he didn't like the photos. But you know what? For once I was still happy. Because I did not allow that to dictate my happiness. I didn't mind if he didn't like it because I know what I did was my best and I know God's anointing was on that, so whatever happens I know God has a plan for these photos to work. I'm glad that my peace is no longer placed in materialistic things. I'm not going to allow people to take control over my joy. I should not let their opinions of me, their thinking, my situation change the way I feel and take my peace away. No one can take my peace away because my peace is in God, and God is eternal.

After tonight, all I want to be more like Jesus. I want to lead by example. I want to love people unconditionally. I want to love my sister the way Christ loves. I want to show me the closest thing to how God love should be like. I want to encourage her and continue to pray for her during these times. I know she'll get pass it. I know it. I know that work will not take control over me. I know that now, my top priority is God and reading his words, spending time with him. I don't want to have to stress myself out too much any more. And if I can't do something, I will say no. I will not risk saying yes just to make them happy if I myself are not happy. I will have to learn to say no and please everyone. I shouldn't have to please everyone.

Jesus, Change me, Please! Please change me!
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Sunday, October 16, 2011

And life..just like this it goes...

Why is it like this. yes I thank God for helping our restaurants but I wish I had time off to recover myself. When will this end? Where will I go from here? My heart is as heavy as rocks weighing down my heart. I feel so down and I wish someone, someone would come and hear me cry. Just listen and hear me out and not necessarily find faults in me, making it seems like I'm not dealing with my life rightly enough. I know I can be better but I can't help that I've gotten to where I am today. My heart is burning with grief, with anxiety. I wish someone, someone, someone would come and comfort me. I wish people would stop underestimate me or look down on me. I wish I would have the strength to go on. I wish there were less things to do or that I would have better time management skills. I wish time would pause so I can take a breather. Does anyone know how I feel? Do you know how I feel God? Do you? Will things get better? I know they will but when?? Why don't people believe in me? I hate how tonight, as I was visiting Grandpa, I recommended that he should drink Aloe Vera drink and that I would bring it to him next time. And he just laughed and said for me not to and keep it to sell it to other people. It hurts me because he doesn't believe in me. Even grandma was asking about LR, and I was disappointed to say that I have made no progress because I didn't have time. When will I find time? When will I finally prioritise the right things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I'm rock bottom and no one knows about it. It's affecting me so much and people can see that. They see how mean I've become, how easily agitated I've become, how sad & depressed, how quite and unmotivated I've become. And that's not me! That's not me at all. I'm burnt out! I really am. I don't know what's important anymore and I don't know what to stop doing and what to put effort in. Everything I do seems so...passive now. Nothing seems as though it will be that significant anymore. Even if I want to make something happen, I kept getting pushed down, rejection and rejection. :( It saddens me and I'm envious of people who have been so successful in LR. I know envy comes only when you know life is not fair and that you believe that you don't have what it takes to get there. This is wrong thinking I know, but I know too many things to a point where I no longer listens and pays attention to them. My heart just hurts, and burns. This is not a very good season for me. Maybe, I don't know. I didn't hit my retail last week and the week before that. 2 weeks in a row and this has never happened. I can't call this accident. I know my boss will tell me off but I'm prepared and I will not say 'but this, but that' I will take full responsibility for everything. Where has my passion and drive gone? where is that fire in me now? Where is that determination to get clients in and talk to them about products, treatments and the rest??? Where has that gone?????? Have I gone too comfortable and complacent with myself? Have I diverged my attention to something else? God ALL I WANT FOR YOU TO GIVE ME IS REST! AND TO SHOW ME WHERE TO GO NEXT. TO SHOW ME WHAT IS IMPORTANT AND WHAT IS NOT. TO SHOW ME HOW TO DEDICATE MY TIME ACCORDINGLY. HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE. HOW TO REACH MY DREAMS AND GOALS. Apart from the time that I talked to Cahl, I have not been feeling at peace. This morning was stupid and crazy and full of negative energy because of my sister and mum. Talking to W- didn't really help. He just gave me ridiculous advice and he was stubborn. I want to fly away. I want to get away from this place and just GET AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone take me. I don't know if I'm going to Melbourne for LR or not. I'll let it up to God but don't think I will. I have 2 weeks left and don't think I will reach 21%. Oh well. life sucks. I'm stuck in this hole. I'm confined. I want so many things but I have no time and definitely not the right mindset to make everything well. I hate myself for the way I've been acting.

Life really kills me at the moment. I'm laying off church for a while and just want to be away for a little bit. I wish I can get annual leave as well. Life sucks so bad right now. Sucks Sucks Sucks!



I'm just sad...and why do I have to be like this?

I want to cry but I can't even cry
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Friday, October 14, 2011

Depressed...& stressed



show details 10:25 AM (13 hours ago)
Can't find a smile on my face. No matter what I try. I feel like a blank emotionless canvas. I feel stuck in a space where decisions need to be made. But I have no will. I've lost hope. And I thought I'd gained hope but it's so hard. I cried and cried to sleep. I stayed up pondering about everything, yet I don't feel anything. I don't feel as though anything is progressing. I feel discourage. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm on my way to work & my heart is very heavy. It weighs me down with sorrows, with disappointment. I don't want it to affect my work. I need to make the sales. I need to? Have I changed? Have I lost concentration? When will I leave this place? When will things be less chaotic? When will I find the strength to push forth & start planning my life. I know God has a plan for me but why isn't he showing me which path I should take next! I want a day off. I want a mentor who can speak to me & counsel me. Is that too hard to ask for? I've been wanting one for so long. Or are you not giving it to me because you want me to seek you instead. Well I am seeking you but why is it that I still feel so lost?? I feel like there's no direction in my life. I feel like I'm going in all directions possible. My heart is burdened. When will hope come? 



show details 12:11 AM (23 hours ago)
Why is my life like this? Will anyone help me'???? Will anyone??? Will I succeed?? Will I achieve my goals?? Why is it so hard? Why ???? Why ?????????? :((((((((((((((((((((((( Whyyyyyyyy? Why all the money going? Why no time??? Why too many things going on??? Why is God's promises not present?? I feel hopeless. Cried to him & .... Nothing ..... I see nothing ...... Nothing is better. No time to do what I want :( 

Work
Photoshoots
LR
Ewen Chia
Bank Account
Church
Connect group 
A millionaire
Restaurant 
Rearrange room
Assignment
Book - hairstylist
Psychology of selling !
Set goals: Brian Tracy
Makeover parties
Collection launch
Anintas hens night 
Wedding 
Money $40 for studio 
Wedding ria
Hair cuts Vicky & groom
Hair cut Ade. Fb. 
Compassion letter 
Bank detail for LR
Order lip brush for Nisha
American crew consent form
Leighton's birthday 

I am going crazy! Literally!



show details Oct 13 (2 days ago)
It's already half a month gone. I don't want to give up but why is it so hard to get started. I know opportunities are always mixed with difficulties. And accepting & overcoming that is what will make me successful. lord, how I pray that you will help me Lord. I really want this. Help me to time manage. Help me to set my priorities right. I really need your help God. I really want to make this happen & I don't want to delay any longer. Show which opportunity to go for. Help me to create my own opportunities. Help me' Jesus. 
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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Lost...

I feel so lost. I feel like there are so many things that I need to do, or 'want' to do but just don't have the time for them. I wish I had a coach. I wish I could have guidance in this area of my life because at the moment I feel like I'm trying to do too much all at once. I feel like I have the tools but I'm not using them the right way. I feel like if I had less to do and concentrate solely to just one thing then it's easier to achieve what I want especially when I want to have things done fast. I want to reach my goals fast. I'm ambitious and I want to do a lot whilst  I'm young. Sometimes I ask myself whether or not this is something God wants me to do. But if it wasn't something god wanted me to do why would he put that desire in my heart. And besides it's legitimate. Jesus I feel so lost and I wish that you would guide me. I feel extremely lost. I just want to concentrate to do one thing at a time. But at the moment I feel like I'm not only trying to better myself at retailing at work (hence studying the psychology of selling) but I'm also wanting to do photoshoots on my day off to build my portfolio and eventually get signed (and that takes much time & commitment). Also, I want to become the president of LR one day and my short term goal is to become an organizational leader in 6 months time & that takes tremendous amount of work & I would need to find people for my down lines. I would need to do make up parties. I would need to commit my time to meet up & coach ppl & be flexible with my time. I also want to finish off my interior designing assignments. I hate the fact that I would always bring it up to people saying that I am studying when in actual fact I'm not even doing anything because I don't have time. I wonder if I'm caught in the chaos of things & forgetting my godly mission & purpose. Am I instead meant to do things like volunteering at church? Am I meant to have a connect group & lead them? But what about my dream to become an entrepreneur and an elite international hair stylist??  :((( it saddens me that human (such as myself) can be so caught up doing things our own way & now I understand how hard it is to mover our agenda aside & let him do what he wants in my life. I know I will get so far. I know I will succeed at all these things I'm doing but why is it so hard Jesus. And with the Affiliate marketing thing. Am I wasting my money?? Is it worth going to the seminar? Have I been too hasty in trying chase after money? But the whole point is trying learn new things. God please send me a coach. Please rectify my life. I place my whole agenda aside and you know what. Do whatever you want Jesus. Take away whatever you wish because I want to follow you Lord. 
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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

So much is happening.

I haven't updated my blog for a while now. It's only been less than a month and so many things have happened. It's incredible how many things can fit in such a short period of time. And it is also incredible how fast time has gone by.

I'm just wondering why I haven't been so uptight with my self image. It's amazing though because I don't feel as insecure as before anymore. However, it's summer and I know I want to look my best, especially when there are wedding and events to go to. I wish I could have that drive & motivation to eat healthy & exercise on a regular basis lol. I just don't care anymore. I'm just so carefree which is good.

So what has happened from the last post till this post?


  • I WATCHED a lot of motivational videos as always
  • I attended the national achievers congress starring Anthony Robbins, Robert Kiyosaki & Donald Trump. It was really amazing and I've learnt so muchhhhhhh!!!!
  • I will be attending a seminar with Ewen Chia & also Harv Eker
  • I met Enring who is a leader for LR, a German health & beauty company. She showed me what the company was all about and...
  • I signed up for it today for a Make Up trolley.
  • So officially from today, not only do I study interior design, I am a hairdresser, I am a beauty consultant as well as a make up artist. 
  • I hope to go Melbourne this coming November for the launch.

But apart from that, why am I keep telling myself that I am STUDYING interior designing when I am not!!!!! I seriously have lost the momentum. I've lost it and I have literally ZILCH left! I don't have any desires left. The books and all those stuff are just lying around. But I honestly really hope to finish off the 3 assignments soon. If I really push it, I can get one done in a week or a week and a half. If I REALLY PUSH IT!

Well also I've been doing a lot of photoshoots and stuff. I'm thinking of leaving my work at the end of next year when my contract finishes so I can concentrate solidly on building a great portfolio and get signed with an agency.

I'm owing mum quite a bit of money because I'm doing some things that I want to do and I don't have the money for it.

I'm so glad that mum shares the same mentally as me, just a little bit. I like how she thinks like an investor and she is actually sitting back and just enjoy everything. I will need to really plan out my week & month and fit as much in as possible: health, fitness, mental learning, practical doing ect,

so yike so sleeeppy :(
Night x
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Sunday, September 4, 2011

I know that you are for me



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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

God Spoke To Me....

It was another incredible Connect Group tonight. I'm so blessed to be apart of the connect group. It was a dessert night and the topic was kind of less formal. We talked about our crushes which was quite funny. But yes,  at the end I really felt the Holy Spirit was taking over the whole entire place and there were Words for everyone. I think everyone was really touched. I personally was. I was crying and I really felt God talking to me. I got talking to Brendon today finally and had a chance to hear him opening up to me. He spoke into me about beauty as well. He said things that were really true, about how I have a lot of inner beauty and outer beauty too but I some times don't believe it myself. He told me to keep listening to the voice that God is speaking into me right now. I told him about what I believe God was telling him and it was true. He is such a great leader. He is an amazing man of God.  Leighton also spoke to me. He saw a vision and it was of me wearing a handcuff. And the funny thing is that it's unlock and I put it on myself. I can really relate to that because, I know God has been telling me to do a few things but I've been delaying and making excuses to not do it. I think I'm putting more stress into myself than necessary because even though I'm busy, I keep making it seem like I have to do more things than I have to. Also, time management is an issue. I should learn to prioritise and I think Brian Tracy can help me a lot with that. What I've learnt is that I need to spend time with God the most, and place him first in all things then the rest will follow through. I feel as though I spend a significant amount of time seeking for wisdom and learning new things, which isn't a bad thing, but I need a balance of both. I need to seek wisdom from God and also learn new things and apply them. As I was driving home today, I took the longer route and it allowed me to think things through quite a lot. I cried and I just said to God how I really want to live for him and purely for him. I know he has a great plan for my life and He just wants me to say YES. I finally told him I will do what he wants me to do but he needs to make it clear of what he wants me to do. Then I felt like these are the two main things: learn Italian and start serving on saturday night. I don't understand why, I don't know how it will happen, I don't know if I will have the money or whatever, but I want to obey God and I want to see what can happen from this. I really wonder what God wants to do with my ability to learn Italian. Jesus, I thank you that you've given me the ability to trust you, and I pray that you can use ALL OF ME to do what you want me to do. If Italian is what you want me to learn, show the best place where I can go to. Also help me to finish those things that I've started but haven't finished, namely Interior Designing course. Please give me the time management skill to sort my time accordingly to various activities of the day. I want to do so much but there is so little time. I don't want to get carried away doing the less important things. I hope you can help me Jesus. I want to do the photoshot for Jess so I hope I can work on Sunday so I can get Wednesday off. It's a lot of work, it's a really good opportunity but I don't know if I'm ready for it. Right now, besides working I'm constantly thinking about the restaurant designs and stuff. I still need to do more and more things, researching prices and designs and stuff, but I don't want to have to worry. Jesus, help me with everything. I know you are in control. Help my sister and her husband to bond and come together in peace. I know they're arguing at the moment, but I know everything will be better again very soon. I have so much faith that the restaurant will be absolutely AMAZING!!! Once it reopens again, we are going to attract so many customers and new clients. I've already told some of my friends to come, and I'm so excited for them to come and see and eat our amazing food. I hope they will like it. I'm sure they will. I know this is a blessing from God. I know that this is all apart of his plan. Jesus you hear my prayers, you hear me and you acknowledge those times that I fast. Even though I don't keep count of it anymore but when I do do it, I know that you know it. I thank you that you had allowed those HORRIBLE days to come, of ridiculously low income for us to see that we NEED to make an improvement. If everything was still normal, or if we were only below average slightly, I don't think my sister and her husband would make the decision to renovate the restaurant. It has always been something that I've wanted to do; truly design a space from scratch not just organising furniture and so on. I pray that you will help us financially and physically. I pray that we will have help from everyone and that we would not need to close too long because we might loose a lot business. However, I know once we open it will be amazing. I pray for the service Jesus, I pray for the right people to come in and work for us, who has passion and the willingness to learn. I pray that our restaurant will give AMAZING service, treat the customers like they're kings and queens and also continue to provide amazing food. Jesus I trust in you totally.

I just also want to share something.

Last month after watching many of Brian Tracy's videos on Goal Settings. I decided to do some myself and wrote up 10 goals. He told us to then pick one out of the 10 that we felt was the most important thing in our life. And that if we were to die, having that one goal completed would be the most satisfying.

So that goal was:

I INSPIRE PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD TO SEEK AND KNOW GOD.

Then I asked myself

HOW DO I inspire people around the world to seek and know God?

I had to write down at least 20 answers/ideas.

1. Know the person that God is and write down all of God's characteristics & train yourself to me like that.

2. I am positive, supportive and hard working around my colleague at work.

3. I spend an hour reading inspiring books everyday, eg, Bible or other books. This will prepare my mind.

4. I am confident with myself and my beauty and my walk is held with poise and grace.

5. I write a weekly status about God and His characteristics.

6. I continue to write on my blog about my journey with life and God.

7. Each month I fast for 3 days and pray for provision and inspirations.

8. When things get hard, I remind myself to stay calm, telling myself 'Peace, be still."

9. I have a connect group fortnightly where people can gather & enjoy talking about God.

10. I travel overseas to do mission work and talk to people about God and my testimony.

11. Every time that I am exposed to the public or media, I acknowledge God and that I am blessed.

12. I read 2 books a month, preparing my mind for wisdom.

13. I have a vision board about inspiring millions.

14. I read book/ watch videos on speaking/preaching/leadership.

15. I write a book, honoring God of my testimony and how He has worked through my life.

16. I have a mentor and seek advice from the Godly.

17. I make videos on Youtube about inspirations.

18. Write down all the Miracles that God has done in my life.

19. I sponsor a Christian Broadcast channel.

20. Become a motivational speaker/preacher.



:O

and it is usually the last idea that makes you think. WOW. REALLY!!??



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Sunday, August 21, 2011

......Sadness

I feel like I'm responsible for so many things. I feel like people don't know me and don't know how I feel. I want to get away and I don't want to belong here. Obviously I'm not of the world, and I'm only in it. I wonder when I can get away from this place, even though I know I need to accomplish God's calling for my life first. Why does things seem so apparent at first and then it's like a blur. Why does things need to change so quickly so often? I don't understand. I need to do so many things and I don't want to stressed over it. There are so many things I want to do but other things keep stealing my time, namely the restaurant design. It's causing me a lot of stress and thinking. I would've spent this time on say, reading the bible, listening to Brian Tracy DVDs, read my book "The richest man of Babylon" or "Caught between a dream and a job" OR I could've spent time on my assignment that I've been holding off for a while.

I need to cut Chi's friends hair later on, and I'm really not bothered, I don't want to do it because I don't have time. I can use it for more useful things. I need to go to the salon to watch Chris' & James' presentations at 5 so I can't attend the 5 service, which mean I will get home pretty late. I need to go to other friend's place to cut their hair too and I don't want to do it because I don't think they are paying me and I can't tell them that I'm charging them because the first time I did their hair, I did not. I don't want to make it seem like I'm all about money but still that's a lot of my time that I'm losing and I don't get anything out of it. I want every single second of my time to be beneficial and worth investing. I don't want to charge them because I know in the future I might need their help and so on, but still, my price is pretty high in the salon, and it's my WORK so how can people think they can just get it for free.

I'm stressed and I do feel the way I think is not very mature.

I need guidance and I feel like I'm getting any and I don't know what God is planning for me..

I just want to cry, I'm hungry but I'm loosing my appetite, I don't want to eat and I've never been like this except when I broke up with my ex.

I don't know what God wants me to do. If God wants me to learn Italian, can he at least show me where to go? If He wants me to speak, can he show me where to start??



:(
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Looking back...


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