"The Spirit fell upon me.." and I gave my life to Christ. I remember crying so much and people were so happy. They hugged me and were smiling. I didn't understand why but now I know. It was like God have found his lost child. The whole Heaven rejoices even if it's just ONE person coming to Christ.
I was so happy. I wanted to tell everyone about God. I wanted to let them know my decision of becoming a Christian and my happiness.
I couldn't go to church because I was still young and besides my family is Buddhist. They would not let me go even if I wanted to.
During year 8 or 9, I started to go but I stopped because I was sick of making excuses to my parents. I'd always tell them that I was going to birthday parties. The Spirit convicted me and I had 2 choices: to lie and go to church OR not lie to my parents and not go to church. I decided to not go so I don't have to lie. God says in one of his commandments that we should always obey our parents so that's what I did.
I made a promise to myself that once I finished high school I'd go to church regularly because I'd be mature enough to decide for myself what I should believe in.
So ever since then I've been going very often. I go every week and up until now, my parents still don't know that I'm a Christian. It's been almost 7 years since my commitment to Christ.
My life after becoming a Christian has been a growing journey. The growth was very minimal during primary and high school. It has only been GREAT since I started coming to church regularly which was from 2009. Meeting godly people and surrounding myself with lovely individuals who supported me through the good and bad have allowed my faith to grow so strong. Especially after last week's Hillsong Conference, God had confirmed so much of His promises to me.
With God, my life has changed SO MUCH. You may ask why?
Because when I was without God, I lived with no purpose. I live through each day as if it was ordinary. But now, with God, I know my life is purposeful, no matter how normal each day seems, I know it plays a crucial role in bringing about the future that God has planned for me. It allowed me to appreciate the most simple thing in life. I love taking the bus because I get to observe people who are God's extraordinary creations, I get to admire the beautiful trees, sun, sky, clouds. It makes me thankful for the city I'm living in, the freedom we have, the opportunity to do what ever we wishes. Even the flat concrete road is awesome because it makes the ride so much more smoother.
God has shown me His amazing love, and that's why I have learnt to love my mum just as much. To be honest, my family had not always been affectionate, especially when we're from an Asian background, emotions tend to stay hidden. I would not feel comfortable hugging my parents, let alone kissing them on the cheeks like western parents do to their kids. They never said I love you. They never said "Great job" or "You did so well" or "I'm so proud of you". I know they probably did feel it but it was always hidden. What's the point then? Nonetheless, God had placed people in my life to inspire me to love. The last relationship I was with, brought out both the best and the worst in me. God made me a better person through that. I was very inspired by the way my ex loved His mum through her sickness of cancer and the divorce she had. God made me realised that I have to be open to affection and it's okay to initiate and that I have to make the most out of what I have. Since then, my mum and I had been closer than ever. She is the person I love most after God. She has been through so much and I would literally die for her. I even want to get a tattoo saying "I love mum". She always call me and my little sister "angel" now. She'd hug us. We'd hug her EVEN in public which I was never able to do. But now I love her so much I didn't care and I like it when we're affectionate in public because I want them to see how much I love her. Even though she doesn't know Jesus like I do, but God gave me visions that she will come to Christ and she will make it to Heaven. I'm not worried anymore. I'm very happy.
Because of God, I have been able to receive opportunities that are seemingly impossible. He had planned my life so carefully and every step of the way makes sense. When I look back I can tell that the series of situations were only chains that brought me to the present place. Painful things He allowed to happen opened up doors to better things to come. The break up of my last relationship was the worst pain ever, but if that didn't happen I wouldn't have committed myself more to God. It was then that I decided to go church weekly. It was then that He have me the last warning to turn back to Him before I suffer in this chaotic world. I quit my university course, I started Interior Designing. I started going to the Gym. My whole outlook on "friends" changed and I realised how neglectful I was towards them and how supportive they are when all I need was to call and they'd be there. I socialised more and realised that what I thought wasn't true after all. I used to think he was my everything and there was no one like Him but I was wrong. I thought I could not live without him but I was also wrong as I am still alive typing this up now. He was in my life for a reason. He was right for a period of time, but that was it. I don't regret it because I know God used it to refine my character through all the mistakes I've made.
I then started hairdressing. This was late last year. And who would've thought this would be the bridge to my calling. Just last week. Exactly a week ago, God gave me a vision such as the one in my blog showing me that He wanted me to be successful in this area so I can get in connections with people of authority whom He had also called according to His purpose. He told me how 1/4 of my time will be dedicated to hairdressing, the other 1/4 goes to mission work and the other 1/2 goes to preaching the Good News. And since then I've been getting constant confirmation from God that THIS IS WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO. Repetition from Sermons, videos, Hillsong Conference, Bible verses that I read and what people tells me.
Ever since coming real close to Him. He made my path clearer and allowed me to use my gift instead of doing my own things to please others. I believe I'm a creative person and nursing wasn't right for me. I'm glad He had lead me to do Hairdressing.
Another thing that I'm also grateful for is how God had taught me a lesson of patience. I was struggling with that for so long and the person I love so dearly ended up being the victim of my bitterness. It was my little sister. I was a very bad sister. Even though I gave her what she wanted, buy her things, but my impatience had pushed me away from her and I lost her trust. But since drawing closer to Jesus, He had slowly changed my mindset. He used my mum to constantly talk to me about my attitude, in a VERY KIND and slow-to-anger way. He was so patient with his words and I know it was Him who spoke through my mum. I've had this problem with impatience for years, and it had caused many hasty decisions that I wished I can take back, but I won't because I now learnt my lesson. Jesus is so good to me. He is so faithful.
He had blessed me with my family's situation as well. Even now when things seems so broken, but He gives me the peace that NO ONE ELSE can give. I tend to be so emotional. I'd cry and cry and ask why this why that. But now, I trust Him fully. No matter how bad things go, I know He has a GREAT and AMAZING plan for my life. He is faithful and if He promised something, HE WILL carry it out. He will do and perform that which He had said. The feeling I have towards Him, towards life, towards people is so priceless. I've been through so much in my life, I was in the fire of anger and sorrow, but because of my outlook on life, I am now able to walk out of it without the burning smell, without the smell of smoke. I'm clean, I'm free. People who sees me or hears my past would never imagine that I went through such things.
How can I not believe in Him after all that He has done for me? And how Jesus died for me when He didn't even have to. But He was able to take the punishment that was intended for us and raised from the dead because He was so perfect. We're all sinners. We all deserve to die and go to Hell. But because God so love the world that He gave His one and only Son to die for us, to carry our sins for us, to take the punishment that was ours and carried it on his humanly body. He was persecuted, spat on, wrongly judged, cursed, kicked, tortured, and NAILED on the cross, so 2000 years later the whole world can see the greatness of His mercy upon humanity. He died for us when He didn't have to. He chose to. He was so perfect in every way. He was the son of God. He was the light of the world. He was the King of all kings. Yet, with such power, He decided to become the lowest of the most imperfect world, become a servant to all of us. He came to serve when He could so easily be served. He was so humble. He lived on earth, taking a human form so that He can become one of US and eventually die to revolutionised history. We can now come to Him and He will forgive us of our sins. We are now welcome to heaven because our punishment was taken by Jesus himself. The ransom has been paid. Now all that's left is faith and a prayer to accept God into your life. Believing that Jesus did die on the cross for our imperfections. Handing your life over so He can make it unbelievably amazing with His mighty plan. He cares for you. He cares about us. All He wants is to have a relationship with us, with YOU! He longs for that intimate love that no humanly love can be compared to. The greatness of His love will set you free, will break all bondage, will save the lost souls, will restore dreams, will take over the evil spirit, will renew you and make you the co-heir with Christ, inheriting His marvelous kingdom in Heaven if you decide to live for Him today... yes give your life over to Jesus...Today...
